Two weeks left. That's all. And then practical freedom for the summer. Just two weeks! It's strange, I feel like I should feel something, but it kind of just feels normal. Maybe it will feel different as it gets closer. We shall see.
Think I have hit on something in my journaling today. One of my biggest fears is that I am slash have the potential to be a very boring person. And so I compensate by doing as many crazy and fun things as I can. But lately I have been getting tired and worn out and I think I probably need a break. And I have been slowing down, getting blunt. I noticed last week when I contrasted myself against a mate who was in a hyper mood and was just so sharp and quick and funny and I realised I hadn't been sharp like that for some time. And then I realised that in general I don't have the kind of fun I used to with everything, and the amount of fun I want to be having with stuff. I pulled out the water bomb slingshot after church yesterday but that was the first thing I'd done in ages that was just purely for the sake of having fun. And I love doing stuff purely for the sake of fun, it's a big part of the reason I do youth work. And I always pictured myself having fun with whatever work I was doing. When I started that was more or less what it was like, laughing and joking and doing crazy stuff at every opportunity, but now there's very little of that. And I want it back. If I get that back, I get the fun back, I get the life back, I get the energy, the enthusiasm, the joy. And I get my edge back. I get sharp again.
I'm off to sharpen the saw!