Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Inadequate

I stepped up today, and I found myself completely and utterly inadequate. I stepped back down, my gut wrenching, and turned away in shame. I want to be so much more than I am. I want to take the opportunities that come along. I want to be worthy of the opportunities that come along. Tonite, I fear I was not. Now I am sad. Sad that I failed. Sad that I couldn't help. Sad that someone should even be in pain in the first instance.
That is all.

8 comments:

2Peter said...

There's no such thing as failure Zac, it's just a word we all apply to ourselves when our expectations are beyond our means.

There are however some pretty hard lessons to be learnt, but they're always the most important and, ultimately, most rewarding ones. All the best with whatever it is.

One of my favourite quotes:

"I know God won't give me more than I can handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much!"

- Mother Theresa

Joshy said...

Hey Zac! How ya going fella? Hope all is well.

Merle said...

Hi Zac ~~ We all fail at times, but it's not how you fall, but how you get up. So, instead of shame, try resolve to try harder and do better. No one is perfect. Don't expect too
much of yourself. Do the best you can. Take care, Love, Merle.

Heth said...

I ahve texted you, facebooked you and am now leaving this in the hope that you receive this, i was theree last night zac, you did not fail, you are soooo worthy and you are an awesome individual who has no reason to feel any shame whatsoever. Other people's pain is not something you can fix, God has to do it and it was your unit that gave him the access he needed to do that so please please feel encouraged.

H x

Anonymous said...

oi, you goon!!!

the only way you fail is to not step up.

stop being so harsh on yourself and remember that you are doing a great job.

heth said...

Exactly! Listen to the tall Manny!

Louisa said...

Zac, Don't Listen to those thoughts ok? They r just trying to bring u down so you won't try the next chance you get. If I'v learn't anything from you its, that you need to find peace when filled with destructive thoughts.
I wasn't there. i don't know what happen. wish i was. Find peace in God. He knew about this before you did. Did He stop it?-no Did He have a reason for letting it happen?-yes. He'll use it to make you more like Jesus. God Bless.
Louisa

Carolyn said...

I'm always amazed when I come to God over something I've stuffed up, at the absolute lack of condemnation, and the complete gentleness I experience. Love you, Mum.