Saturday, June 03, 2006

Contractual Obligations

During my recent visit to the Great South Land I suffered that ageing affliction that we are all cursed with; the Birthday. This year was the 19th time I had endured the effects of the Birthday although, fortunately, this time I managed to avoid 300 people singing me happy birthday at the same time -whew- although I recieve a text message via email (don't ask and no, I'm not making it up) that was a recording of someone singing happy birthday to me. Perhaps a sign of my health deteriorating in my old age I caught a nasty cold a few days prior and the lingering tail end of said cold is still hanging on for dear life as my body vehemently seeks to expel it by any means possible ie. sneezing, coughing, drooling, farting, and I have also been to the toilet about 5 times today clear proof that either a- I am destined to suffer from a weak bladder in later life or b- Drinking 8 cups of water a day is in actual fact BAD for you and as there is a drought on we should conserve water at EVERY opportunity. But the really annoying part of said affliction is that the more times it strikes you in the course of your life the more unwanted responsibilities seem to be thrust upon you. Last year it was voting, then there were the series of letters reminding me that I still had yet to register to vote and threatening fines and whatever else should I fail to do so before the next election (needless to say I remain unregistered as a voter and if the Australian Government should choose to waste their time tracking me down they will find their country void of my presence thwarting their efforts to force me to conform to the social norm MWA-HA-HA!! Then there's this whole adult business- what the hell's that about anyway?! And I'm not even gonna mention taxation... This year is no. 19; the last year of the age of the teen. I'm definitely not looking forward to 20 and the expectaions that will appear as I depart freedom forever.

However 19 was looking like a quiet "breather" year to recover from the shock of enforced adulthood during the previous affliction and all seemed well until GP (Grampa Peter) noticed my lack of fresh obligations and decided that my load was too light and that he'd do me a favour and fix that little problem. As is customary; during the day of affliction friends and family members give the afflicted (in this case me) gifts to ease and distract from the pain and to encourage them to hold on to their annually decreasing quality of life. GP gave me a new camera!! (my old one had recently ceased to function and so I was in want -note: need is often missused when really the situation calls for the term want- of a new one but lacked the necessary funds to rectify this problem) It's a Fuji!(feel free to insert jingle from the adds and sing that line to yourself several times) and really very good, I'm still trying to work out exactly how I'll get a photo of it onto the blog. But, this is where the afore mentioned responsibility came into play. GP cunningly gave me the camera as a conditional gift and the condition was this: that Zachariah Holt (thats me) will post a new entry on his noteworthy blog (the Posse House) at a minimum of once weekly, futhermore, Zachariah shall be required to suply proof of his activities in the form of photographic evidence on said blog by means of his new Fuji camera. The consequences of failure to meet these obligations were left hanging but I have a reasonable suspicion they are not of futher benefit to myself... probably more bloody responsibility at this rate...

"And so it came to pass that Zachariah pulled up his figurative blogging socks and sat in front of a computer several extra hours each week in order to fulfill his new contractual obligations. It should also be mentioned at this point that previously the family of Zachariah had contacted the Fearless Leader (Zac's boss) to ascertain his continued existence after 3 weeks without contact, it would appear they got wise to the unsuccesful nature of that attempt to keep tabs on their son" -from the Posse House Prophecies, vol.3 year 2762


Peter said...

Hi Zac, well done on the writing side of things, I do hope that there is some photographic proof of all the places you have been over the last few days and a pictorial display of what your daily life consists of, minus those multiple toilet stops!!!
It was great to catch up with you again and I'm pleased to hear that you arrived back in Blighty more or less intact.
later. GP.

Craig 'n' Jen said...

will be great to hear from you a little more regularly. glad you had a gtood trip, sorry i missed you. hope things keep going well, and even if there not, we don't really need to know if they involve more toilet stops.
i did notice that in your last blog, that even half a world can't keep mums from worring about thier children.