The Posse House

Sunday

2010-01-31T12:20:00.002Z

I own my own washing machine. I spent the day working around the house. Last night I had my last shift at the pub and tomorrow I start back at the School at 9.30. In the morning.

Something went wrong here.....

God Bless the Japanese

2009-02-07T15:33:00.000Z

Blue Lounge Take Two

2008-09-18T09:20:00.002+01:00

This time I managed to get into the Virgin Blue lounge and have a shower, eat their food and drink their booze. The internet took a bit longer to get onto this time around but here I am!
Spent the last two days in Canberra catching up with Liz and Flick. Was good fun. The old capital ain't too bad really, I'd done most of the sights back in two thousand so we just hung out for the most part, except for Liz dragging me to Floriade [a very manly flower festival, full of men, doing manly things] Some bloke tried to sell us a whipper snipper using the line "when was the last time you bought your dad a present?" "uhh.. fathers day. you know, like a week ago" so that didn't work so well for him. I also managed to finish watching Underbelly, discovered that I was staying in the room of a paralympian, and was introduced to the hilarity that is Eddie Izzard.
Am waiting for my flight to the Gold Coast where I meet up with Jo and then Grampa.

Four Bolts

2008-09-15T17:54:00.002+01:00

Mice and Men

2008-09-13T15:16:00.002+01:00

The usual amount of ambiguity that follows me around came into play in the form of Tim Shaw (who couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery) long story short; I'm not going to Wollongong. So I re-jigged the time table and now head to Canberra on Tuesday, Gold Coast on Thrursday, Melbourne the following Wednesday and Adelaide the Thursday after that.
Spent the last few days chilling with Stu, catching up with Ames and Grets, and eating Krispy Kremes. Tomorrow we're heading down to the river where there is supposed to be a rope swing and a pretty sweet spot. Should get some good pics!

Sleeping

2008-09-10T14:54:00.002+01:00

Thirtysix hours, a plane flight with maybe two hours of sleep, trekking all round Sydney, a game of squash and then watching tennis. Woke up for half an hour to take Stu to work then back to bed. Woke up at three in the afternoon. What are holidays for? Sleeping all day in someone elses house on the other side of the country. Sweet.

Sydney

2008-09-08T22:59:00.002+01:00

I'm in Sydney. Two months of holiday starts today. Flight over was a bit rubbish, but more or less standard. Planes suck in spite of their incredible usefulness. Virgin refused me entrance to their blue lounge when I got to Sydney airport, you have to be on an outgoing flight, tried the "i flew in with you guys" argument but the Irish woman at the desk probably didn't understand the concept of a reasoned position and ignored me. Forgot that Virgin don't really do service.. so I came down to the food court and got onto Virgins wireless network so I could slag them off online. Grabbed a Krispy Kreme donut and a coffee.

Secondhand Stories

2008-07-22T15:36:00.004+01:00

Remakes are all the rage in the film industry at the minute. I went to see Batman: The Dark Knight yesterday and it was quality. Some remakes are just brilliant, better than the original, better than the remake of the original! This was one of them. There is good room for another one or two Christopher Nolan takes on the Batman, I'm hoping for two, with plenty of characters still to draw on. Robin, Batgirl, and Bane being the obvious options. Heath Ledger's performance is just about as good as it's cracked up to be and between the psycho acting and the dying thing he's probably got the Oscar locked up.
"Why is he running?" "Because we have to chase him."
On the subject of remakes, I've been wondering what happens when we run out of stuff to remake..? Solomon said there is nothing new under the sun. No new idea's, no new thought's (yes those are the same thing, shuttup) no new movies? The classics, the greats, the fiction that is accounted the top of its class nowadays is mostly old. It's Tolkein, it's C.S. Lewis, it's cartoons that started in the fifties, it's Peter Pan and Robin Hood. The new stuff doesn't seem to seem to cut it. But what I want to know, is what is the stuff that is being written now that will be the gold of the next generation, slash my generation all growed up. Where is the brilliance? There is good stuff out there, and at some point the film industry will work it out and stop with the remakes and start with the new stuff, but in the mean time I'm looking for the next Tolkein (Robert Jordan?), the next C.S. Lewis (Pullman?) and the next Batman (Bourne?). Personally I want Lewis' spot.
Also, I watched a great film called Secondhand Lions. It has Michael Caine as a crazy old American who shoots at travelling salesmen with his brother. They end up looking after their nephew and buying a lion and flying a plane upside down into a barn.
"Ok. We'll see what he's selling. Then we shoot him!"
Speaking of crazy Americans and shooting things... Back home I copped some flack over a couple of the things I did with the youth, mostly from stuffy anal types for things like sock wrestling at the boys night (which wasn't actually my idea, I just took umbrage to the criticism and took up the argument) but I got nothing on these guys. I wouldn't mind pinching their budget though!

Sleep Is For The Dead

2008-07-19T08:50:00.002+01:00

My long running battle with sleep looked to be going my way last night. I was in bed by one, lights out by two (this may sound late but the last three weeks I haven't got to sleep before four) a couple of hours in the gym and then a couple of beers in me to ease the process. Not to be outdone, sleep sent me a headache and a restless night from which I awoke at six thirty in desperate need of a shower and morphine. I had to settle for neurofen, a shower, and back to bed. I woke up at midday with that beautiful feeling of a proper deep sleep and no headache, but sleep had still won as it had robbed me of half my day, again. Try again tonight eh.
NB: for anyone thinking of moving to Busselton for the Saturday shopping and cruisy weekend lifestyle, I can recommend not. In town this afternoon all but the bars and Hilzeez were shut by three pm, and the only thing Hilzeez had going for it was my new Zoo York tshirt and the pretty girl who served me.

This, I Like

2008-07-16T16:14:00.000+01:00

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Everest

2008-07-15T15:11:00.002+01:00

ABC showed a documentary on Lincoln Hall's climbing of mount Everest. He froze to death at twenty-eight thousand feet. But then he woke up again, at which point he was convinced he was on a boat and he had to get off. A group of climbers found him on their way to the summit, only it wasn't a boat he was trying to get off, it was a thousand foot cliff. So they get him down and fix up his frost bite, which apparently is something of a side effect of freezing to death. And a little bit later they make a documentary of the whole thing.
Here's the random link that ties together in my head the thing that I am writing about now and the thing that I want to write about next; there's a quote by Bono about Everest. Only it's not so much about Everest as it is about third world debt. Bono and someone else, possibly someone who is actually very well known but whose fame I am not aware of, were talking to Tony Blair about getting the G8 to lead the charge and forgive third world debt and Blair said something along the lines of that he was on side but that it was like staring up at Everest. Bono responded "When you see Everest, Tony, you don't look at it, you f***ing climb it"
The other person, I have discovered while checking the quote, was Bob Geldof. Who I still don't really know who is.

Sia

2008-07-14T18:33:00.001+01:00

A Proposition

2008-07-12T17:18:00.002+01:00

We got hammered in the cafe last night. Like fifty people, ten room service runs, and twelve cocktails at once til eleven o'clock at night hammered. Then tonight; nothing. Not a single table. We closed the restaurant at seven thirty but not before I'd called all the occupied rooms in the resort and asked them if they'd like anything before we shut. Nobody did.
So last night we had this table of eleven women. Without fail the rowdiest, loudest tables you will ever get in a restaurant are composed of women between the age of twenty-eight and forty-three. This was one of them tables. They ate and, more to the point, drank their way through relative small and large quantities of food and alcohol before leaving a very large mess behind them. Twenty minutes later, as we were just getting to the last of their mess, two of them walked back in and started talking to Ravi. He started laughing and shaking his head and then nodded towards me. The women came over to me grinning and it suddenly clicked what they were looking for.
"What time do you get off work?" they asked.
"No time soon." I replied.
"You wouldn't wanna come and..." they mimed taking off their clothes, obviously meaning my clothes, not theirs.
"No, but this guy over here (I nod at Ravi) does it all the time. And if he's not up for it there's this guy on security called Andy."
Only turns out it was Andy who sent them after us in the first place so sending them back after him was not really going to work. So a few minutes later we finish convincing the women that we were not going to be stopping by their villa to put on a strip show and they leave again.

Thursday

2008-07-10T14:39:00.003+01:00

Barrack Obama may have to beware of castration by senior African American politicians. So, you're not allowed to point out faults particular to a racial group if you're not of that racial group, that's racism, and you're not allowed to if you do belong to that racial group, that's betrayal. Unless of course the group you want to criticise is caucasion, in which case go for broke.
Bill Henson lashes out at "a world of moralism, and opinionation and clap-trap". Coz morality is one of those undesirable parts of our society that should be killed off immediately. Well, he's entitled to his opinion.
Apparently alcohol, a folding couch, and an angry russian wife are a bad combination. Couldn't quite decide whether the Lord was going to punish me for laughing, a little reminiscent of the Darwin Awards.
The Spainiards step up the crazy in Pamplona. Kind of impressive.

Funny coz it's True

2008-07-09T10:19:00.002+01:00

Big Deal. By the time Bart's 18 we're gonna control the world. We're China, right?

Clearly Not Giving Him Enough To Do

2008-07-08T15:38:00.004+01:00

Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia, is on Facebook. Commonly accepted as the worlds foremost procrastination tool. He has 4462 friends, of which two are mutual friends of mine (for anyone unfamiliar with facebook, the PM has added two of the same people as I have), he is [unsurprisingly] a Rudd and Labour supporter (see the fans and supporters application/groups on facebook) along with a few posted items and notes (more facebook jargon). He does not, however, have a wall, superwall, funwall or any other kind of wall for people to write upon. Probably a wise move. I am able to send him a free gift (small picture of a gift that I might possibly like to give to someone, though generally not the sort of thing people actually give as gifts ie. a llama) and after careful consideration I have settled on a magic eight ball and a note that reads: to help with those important decisions.
The Bush administration continue to demonstrate their incredible ability to appear incompetent. This being A LOT of the reason the GOP is going to have so much trouble getting John McCain elected in November. In fairness to the republicans the American people chose to elect Bush for a second term and so really have not a whole lot of right to be indignant about him, they knew what they were getting.

Two Minutes Turkish

2008-07-08T09:22:00.002+01:00

I just watched Lock Stock, for the second time apparently. I thought I hadn't seen it yet but on watching it I discovered that I had seen it and it must have been Snatch that I had not seen. Which means that I still need to see Snatch but I have Lock Stock on automatic loop, apparently.
"Too late, too late will be the cry, of the man with the bargains as he passes you by." Jason Statham does some shite films for some reason but then he makes his way into genius stuff like this and Snatch. Brilliant black comedy, a web of awesome twists, and one heck of a sound track. This kind of class is why British film has such a good reputation. The closest things to it I've seen are Inside Man and Big Nothing.
Going to see Hancock at the cinema tonight. There was some debate amongst my friends as to whether it was a Marvel film or based on a comic book or just fresh stuff. There's a whole heap of really great indie comics and unknown graphic novels out there and in face of hollywood's phobia of new material and a rapidly shrinking list of things to re-make they may just turn some indie and cult material into some mainstream teen-fad films.
I also just killed the sexy lady. Not good. Mums favourite mug has a picture of a sexy lady on it and I just broke it. Luck likes me so she's in Perth at the minute giving me a day or two to replace it before she gets home!

Of Holidays, Weekends, And Other Things I No Longer Get To Enjoy

2008-07-06T09:56:00.005+01:00

School holidays kicked off this weekend, marked by late bed times and extended absences from the boys, and the imminent departure of Father for the footy trip. O, and by the standard Saturday and Sunday evening shifts at work which, combined with a single shift on Wednesday, make for a really irritating roster. The double slap on the face means you can't go out on the weekend, nor can you take off to Perth for a week coz you have to be around on Wednesday, lets make it a triple slap, you also earn bugger all money for your irritation.
On the upside I have three job offers to stroke my ego. One of them is in England and pretty darn tempting but not going to happen. One is in Perth and looks a safe bet for next year. And the other may just be the answer to my roster problems while I'm still down south.
Geelong kept up their form with a great win over the Crows. I missed the game as I was using one of my rare Friday nights off work to socialise and spend money at Smiths Beach, but I'm told it was fun to watch.
The Wallabies thumped the French last night, that I did get to see. They look good. The forwards seem to have found some form at last after getting schooled by the English pack at the world cup last year and Matt Giteau was magnificent. George Smith was impressive which bodes well but to be honest, we've only played Ireland and France. The real test will be whether we keep our form against the Springboks and the All Blacks.
I nearly forgot to mention..! So you have some perspective on the thrilling, busy, and challenging job that is currently my employ: last night we had two tables in the restaurant, drank about six cups of coffee, and counted how many individual sprinkles you get in one gram of hundreds and thousands. 1150. So in a 1.5 kilo catering pack of the stuff there is roughly 1,725,000 sprinkles meaning you would need about 580 1.5 kilo packets to make up one trillion sprinkles. We need to verify the data with a few more tests but our hypothesis that anoyone trying to tell you that they ought to be called "millions and trillions" is a moron is looking pretty good.

Fashion And Photos

2008-06-04T08:55:00.003+01:00

I've been getting into this fashion blog lately. I don't like everything on there, in fact I probably really like only about thirty percent of the stuff, but it's an interesting site to look around and I've picked up some interesting ideas. Up until recently I really didn't give a fig about fashion, but there is potentially some cool and funky things to take from it and I'm up for anything that makes me look cool and funky, so...
My two outfit combinations based on what I've learned from the site:
Top Down - Grey waistcoat over (darkish) red t-shirt OR black v-neck jumper over grey stiped shirt with the cuffs sticking out of the jumper turned back and pushed up the forearms. THEN jeans (either loose fit light coloured or straight leg darker) OR hurley black pants, baggy with red label. Standard leather belt OR matt-black studded. THEN converse; the only choice of footwear. ALSO throw in a canvas (or in my case- hemp) shoulder bag and a nixon watch (the banks for the jumper, the duke for the waistcoat) and maybe a beanie.
I'm banking on no one reading this really, at least no one who knows me!

It Could Only Ever Happen To Me

2008-06-03T12:51:00.003+01:00

I have a long history of misadventure and an uncanny ability to take a normal every-day situation and turn it into a source of pain and/or frustration for myself. For instance, today, walking down to the field to kick the football around I (mis)kick it into the gap between a low hedge and a tennis court fence. The hedge is to large to step over so I, in my infinite wisdom (I really do need one of those little voices in my head. Or perhaps a carer) decide to jump the hedge and slide down the wire-linked fence in order to retrieve the football and look really cool. Here's where things go wrong: I somehow pick the one spot along the whole fence that has a blunt stake sticking up right where I'm going to land. I tear a nice new hole in my converse, my sock, and my foot, which has the courtesy not to bleed everywhere but now is swollen and sore and burning away inside a pressure bandage. I am now limping and annoyed and grumpy and tired. Apparently these are common side effects of stupid injuries and despite a couple of hours at the pub to distract myself from everything I am still pretty sore.
One slight source of relief is Presidential Front Runner Dave Barry whose answers to questions affecting life in America are well worth a look! I especially enjoyed Q. Does anyone actually believe that soy cheese tastes good, let alone like real cheese? A. we need to find out who the hell is growing and selling this "soy" and we need to SHUT THEM DOWN.

Going Somewhere... Maybe

2008-06-02T11:32:00.005+01:00

I'm investing quite a bit of time into the new site but this is often a fruitless and frustrating exercise. iWeb is very good, but there are a few things you can't change for no explained reason, so I spend quite a bit of time trying to do things which apparently can't be done. I have some choice feedback for Apple next time I run into them. I have plenty of ideas of things to do but whenever I have the time to do it I tend to sleep or get sucked into doing something else or spend fruitless time working on it. Management as ever is the key. I need a secretary. And an office. A whole house with a couple of friends, one of them can be the secretary, and an office, over-looking the beach, with a motorbike thrown in.
A new possible plan has developed in my mind for the first few months of next year. It involves a motorbike and the following cities; Paris, Barcelona, Morroco, Rome, Croatia (not a city, I know), Volos, Athens, Prague, Berlin, Amsterdam, London. Plus whichever other ones I pass through on the way. A few more months free of responsibility and the chance to do Europe proper!

One of Those Nights

2008-06-01T14:36:00.002+01:00

Last night was just one of those nights. I was at work for all of five minutes before I realised it was going to be a weird one. Everyone was good, but tired. And tired wait staff make mistakes. They also fail to communicate. And often fail to recover. The best way to handle "one of those nights" is to step it up. So the night is going to be tough, fine, if it's going to go down one way or another then man up, cop it on the chin, and go down in a guns a-blazing glory! What you tend to do though, is to accept defeat and offer tired (read: lousy) service and get out asasp. Or you get signed off early, go home, get changed, pick up a case of bear and a bottle of port and head back to work to get the others. Then the fun really begins...
Back at work the GM has decided that a quiet night is a good chance to sort some shit out. The chef who should have left months ago decides to pull everyone else down with him and walks out instead of heading into the meeting and the proverbial camel is now a paraplegic. You of course are not exactly involved in any of this and so proceed to help with the clean up whilst watching an hour of your time vanish into the drama (probably more like two hours once you take into account the fact you dont make it to the bar in time to keep it open and have to head back into town to get pizza and the rest of the beer) From there the rest of the night is awkward conversation and drinking and bitching and then eventually just drinking and laughing about whatever else distracts us from the rest of the tripe.

*I haven't posted anything for ages in an effort to force myself to focus on the new site, which I've been doing and will have up and running soon, but I felt like writing something and I don't really care if anyone reads it or not.

Birthdays

2007-10-31T12:03:00.000Z

Two birthdays are in need of a mention. First is my Uncle Alan who turned 50 Yesterday, his surprise party was on Saturday night. The second is my brother Jordan turned 16 on the 19th. I wasn't back in time for his birthday, which was a bit of a shame as it turned out I could have been but when I was booking my ticket home it looked like I was going to be in Germany.
Jordy is a great kid. One of the most energetic (excepting only my youngest brother Paul) and entertaining people you may ever meet. Since he was two he has been running around like a little monkey and climbs like one too. At the age of four he could climb up the cricket nets at the local park faster than I could! I don't think Jordan wore clothes before the age of five but he seemed to get away with it, mainly because I don't think Mum and Dad could catch him to make him put some on, and if they did he put up one heck of a fight!
He has always been remarkably strong and had muscle definition from the age of three, not that I'm jealous, and the only thing stronger than his muscles is his will. I once watched Mother force feed him a banana, Jordan, aged two, has never eaten fruit but this time he wasn't given a choice. Once the banana was in his mouth the stalemate began, he wouldn't swallow and Mother wouldn't let him spit it out. So he spent twenty minutes slowly turning the banana into liquid mush and then dribbled it back out! Mum never made him eat fruit again.
His iron will sometimes makes him the most infuriating people in the entire world, but somehow this becomes an endearing trait in hindsight. It will probably make him immensely successful in whatever he chooses to do in life as he is so stubborn and determined that he will succeed either by persisting until he gets what he wants or everyone else despairs and simply gives it to him! He ha a few of the more interesting character traits common to teenagers, which make him not the simplest person to ever live with, but he is far from the most difficult case in the family let alone wider society and if myself and his sister are anything to go by he should grow out of these traits over the next few years... just in time for his little brother to grow into them and drive our parents mad all over again!
Love you Jordy, have an awesome year!

Jordan and Uncle Alan a few years back. Cute kid.

Flight of the Conchords

2007-10-24T01:38:00.000+01:00

Genius!

Happy Birthday Jordan!

2007-10-19T23:30:00.000+01:00

Happy birthday Jordy. I'm in Cambridge on a mates computer so you're proper message will have to wait til I get back from Scotland but I hope you had a sweet sixteenth! Love you lots bro!

Home

2007-09-29T12:31:00.000+01:00

Got back yesterday arvo. England turned on the weather for us, by which I mean I haven't seen the sun since crossing the channel! Spent last night watching the England - Tonga match with Binnie, who left for Cambridge this morning, so we made the most of the night. I got home after midnight and resumed my search for a way to watch the AFL Grand Final, which continued until 4am when I gave up and went to bed. I'm toying with the idea of bombarding BigPond and the AFL website with emails about the extortionate setup of the internet clips of the AFL, which you have to have BigPond broadband to view. This meant I couldn't even watch the post-game review and resigned myself to reading the written account of the game, which was great but not quite the same seeing your team win. Cats broke the 44 year premiership drought in style; with the largest winning margin in a grand final ever! Was most happy to hear that Dad had got a ticket to the game, not as happy as him though I'll warrant.
It's a big day of sport, no less than 4 rugby matches to keep me occupied! New Zealand demolished Romania in a boring one-sided affair. Australia took Canada, not as comfortably as they might but they took them. Fiji just beat Wales in an absolute thriller to go through to the quarter finals. It came right down to the last minute with the islanders scoring a try and cinverting to force the Welsh to score a try or die. (Pardon the pun) The hero of the match was Nicky Little who seriously injured his knee three minutes from the end of the game. Scotland - Italy smack it out for the 2nd place in their group later tonight. It's been a good day.
France was brilliant. Cycled 800+ miles all up. From Calais to Paris via Giverny and Monet's Garden, train down to the French Alps, cycle over to Lake Annecy, train to Avignon, cycle to the Ardeche gorge, canoe down the Ardeche gorge, cycle back to Avignon, train to Bordeaux, cycle around Bordeaux and visit some vineyards. Then train to Paris and the Eurostar home. A month later and I have a decent tan, a ginger beard, scruffy hair, considerably less money than when I set out, 300 photo's, and tons of great stories. And, having watched as many games as possible, I'm pretty keen to play some rugby!

Annecy

2007-09-13T18:24:00.000+01:00

I'm camping by lake Annecy, somewhere near the French alps, at the moment. Have been here for a few days now with the Bish and we're both loving a bit of a rest. So far we've cycled 450 odd miles.
Started down the northwest coast and into Paris, via Giverny and Monet's somewhat overrated gardens. In Paris we watched the Argentinians upset the French in the opening game of the Rugby World Cup on a big screen in the middle of the city. Was (very quietly) cheering for Argentina in a crowd of a few thousand excitable French. Caught a train from Paris to Bourg St Maurice and cycled from there over to Annecy.
Have a look at our route on google maps, it's quite impressive.
I'll apologise at this point for any random spelling errors as I'm using a retarded French keyboard and half the keys are in the wrong place.
It was Bishs' birthday on Tuesday, great timing, and we celebrated by riding over a couple of mountains to another lake and back again, only took us eight hours. We've had two days of rest since then and are taking tomorrow very easy and ending watching the England South Africa match with a few cold ones.
Saturday we train it down to Avignon (have abandoned the cycle everywhere plan and started using trains so that we actually get to spend some time in the places we want to see. So we'll do a few days along the Ardèche Gorge and then another train to Bordeaux to check out some wineries. Another train from there to Paris and then on the Eurostar to London and we're home!
Annecy is truly stunning. Could easily spend the whole month here if we didn't want to see anything else. I randomly woke at 5am the other morning, pretty much unheard of from me, and was rewarded with a magical view of the pre-dawn mountains. Tried to replicate the feat this morning but neither of us could actually drag ourselves out of our relatively warm sleeping bags (we may have erred in basing our choice there on how small the bags packed away rather than how warm they are) to see it. Might have another crack at it. Then again. Might not. We shall see.
That is all
Ciao

Up Off and Away

2007-09-03T08:49:00.000+01:00

Am off to France in an hour. Train down to Dover. Ferry to Calais. Then Cycling as far as we like each day and camping wherever we can. Gonna be AMAZING! Rugby World Cup is on while we're there as well. May fork out some dosh to see a match if we get close enough. Otherwise will just sit in the pub and watch as many games of an afternoon as we can manage.
Contact for the month will be via email, comments here, or facebook.
See you in a month!

Paintballing

2007-09-01T02:19:00.000+01:00

The week of awesomeness continues... I'm going paintballing tomorrow! The youth from church threw a surprise leaving party for me this afternoon as well, which was fun but did mean that I didn't get to Oxford and so purchased precisely none of the things I need for France. Worth it though, I came home with my face covered in Emma's pictures, vaguely resembling a demented pirate. I very nearly went out again still wearing said pirate face but fortunately saw the mirror on my way out the door and thought to wash my face before the cinema! Went to see the Bourne Ultimatum. Awesome. Just Awesome. I want to be Jason Bourne! There are two more books in the series that I've found, the Bourne Legacy and the Bourne Betrayal. I don't know if they'll make it to the silver screen but if the series continues with the same success the first three have had then I expect there are some more quality films to look forward to there!

Free Falling

2007-08-30T12:46:00.000+01:00

Jumped out of a plane yesterday. Twas amazing! Giving some serious consideration to learning to do it properly, apparently costs about a third of the price to do so in Oz. Dad was/is an abseiling instructor, which I always aspired to, having jumped out of a plane I'm thinking that a sky dive instructor cold be one better!

Blogging

2007-08-16T03:45:00.000+01:00

Am not feeling inspired to blog at the moment. I think I enjoy new things or playing with old things to jazz them up and with the new website on stall I've kind of lost interest in maintaining the Posse House, hence the lack of posts over the last couple of months. Also it seems lately that I don't have time for anything, really strange and annoying as I have had more "free time" in the last two weeks than the last six months! And I have no idea where its all disappeared to. I think it was C.S. Lewis who said "I do neither the things that I ought to do, nor the things that I want to do." I'm also a little annoyed that I am far more functional, process things faster, and am funnier at 3 in the morning than I am at almost any other point of the day. It's great when it happens but slightly inconvenient timing. It does bode well for next week though, I'm at Soul Survivor and we're observing the 4am curfew [that is you're not allowed to sleep before 4am for the week]. Post Soul Survivor I'm at Rivercamp for the weekend and then have a week to get a few dozen things in order before I spend a month cycling around France!
So, blogging shall be sparse, no change there, and likely as not will resume at a different venue upon my return to Oz. That is if I ever manage to work out exactly how I want this website to work and how I match the ruddy colours with the background!
Peace Out for the Present

Calvin and Hobbes

2007-08-07T21:52:00.000+01:00

Calvin and Hobbes is pure genius! I tried this, sadly it didn't work...

Summer!

2007-08-03T11:43:00.001+01:00

England is in the middle of it's "summer", that phenomenon lasting approximately three days where the temperature creeps into the mid twenties and the rain stops for a brief intermission before we go back to floods [there's supposedly a drought on, I think that more accurately translates as "the english have not realised that you have to actually store the water in order to use it"]. I am enjoying the sun while it lasts and am having a BBQ to celebrate [whoo!] providing that the weather holds til Sunday.
Last couple of weeks have been rather full. Lighthouse and Fiesta made for 14hr days and then the pub was utilised each nite to unwind and chill leaving a grand total of perhaps 5hrs for sleep if you take out washing, showers, eating, shopping and general preparation for the next day [tired doesn't even begin to cover it]. Check the archives from last July to see some of my best work at Fiesta [didn't have a minute to blog this year so the stories are lost to my poor memory and lack of sleep killing the few brain cells that were still functioning].
That'll do for now, some cool pics to post when I get a chance. Big shout to my partners in crime Heth and Andy who both worker harder than I that week and played host to me all week!

Finished

2007-07-22T12:32:00.000+01:00

It's all done. I finished my last commitment with Fusion yesterday. (Fusion: previously the top secret organisation I worked and studied with who were unnamed as they have a blogging policy, for understandable reasons, that says staff can't mention them by name) I'm not sure if I expected to feel any different, but mostly I still just feel tired. Something not to be helped by Lighthouse and Fiesta next week, though that's mixed because while there's a cost (every bit of energy I have) it is also one of the most amazing weeks ever and I wouldn't trade it for a months worth of sleep! Last nite I celebrated with the Fusion guys, Chinese takeout and Death to Smoochy on DVD! Awesome!

Skydiving

2007-07-16T16:45:00.000+01:00

I'm going skydiving on August 29. The best bit is; it's for charity! A mate found this company that do charity jumps and booked us on. The idea being that you raise a minimum of 150 pounds, 100 pays for the jump and the rest goes to a charity of your choice. The charity of our choice being the NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children) My mates friend was a staunch supporter of said charity up until their death, the anniversary of which is coming up, so it seemed fitting. So I shall be raising the funds over the next month. Anybody wanting to contribute feel free to comment or email me!

Calvin and Hobbes

2007-07-12T00:41:00.000+01:00

T-Minus Two Weeks...

2007-07-09T13:47:00.000+01:00

Two weeks left. That's all. And then practical freedom for the summer. Just two weeks! It's strange, I feel like I should feel something, but it kind of just feels normal. Maybe it will feel different as it gets closer. We shall see.
Think I have hit on something in my journaling today. One of my biggest fears is that I am slash have the potential to be a very boring person. And so I compensate by doing as many crazy and fun things as I can. But lately I have been getting tired and worn out and I think I probably need a break. And I have been slowing down, getting blunt. I noticed last week when I contrasted myself against a mate who was in a hyper mood and was just so sharp and quick and funny and I realised I hadn't been sharp like that for some time. And then I realised that in general I don't have the kind of fun I used to with everything, and the amount of fun I want to be having with stuff. I pulled out the water bomb slingshot after church yesterday but that was the first thing I'd done in ages that was just purely for the sake of having fun. And I love doing stuff purely for the sake of fun, it's a big part of the reason I do youth work. And I always pictured myself having fun with whatever work I was doing. When I started that was more or less what it was like, laughing and joking and doing crazy stuff at every opportunity, but now there's very little of that. And I want it back. If I get that back, I get the fun back, I get the life back, I get the energy, the enthusiasm, the joy. And I get my edge back. I get sharp again.
I'm off to sharpen the saw!

Knackered

2007-07-04T14:11:00.000+01:00

I'm so tired it hurts. Had a week away from home that ended with the Foundations weekend away and I've not really recovered from that yet. I haven't been sleeping well, big surprise, and generally this means I tend to stay up later coz I don't want to lie awake in bed, which helps massively*. The summer is upon England, or it should be, its been raining for the last three weeks straight. However, date-wise we are into summer and all the fun is getting closer, as is my freedom to do what I want and go see Europe. I'd be a lot more excited by this prospect if I was slightly more awake. Ahh well, by the time it rocks around for real hopefully I'll have a little more energy with which to meet it!

*definite sarcasm for those who didn't catch it.

The Father

2007-06-21T17:50:00.000+01:00

Today is my fathers birthday! (It is also Megan's) He is 46, which makes him 26 years older than me. I think it would be fair to say that there is no one on this entire planet who is more like me than my Dad is, or probably, no one who I am more like.. he did come first therefore I am probably a model of him rather than the other way round. My Dad is my hero. When I was little he used to take me on camps with him occasionally and they are some of my favourite memories. More recently I have been helping him run/lead some camps and that has been even greater fun!
Dad was always larger than life. 6ft2in tall and built this is fairly obvious but more than just his physical presence he was always doing crazy awesome things like abseiling, bridge swinging, hiking, canoeing, and playing sport. I think he will always be in my head the immensely strong man who cared for, protected and loved me as a four year old kid.
I did not always acknowledge the level of respect I have for my father, though I think it's always been not far from the surface, and in my early teenage years we argued and fought a lot, mostly because I was vocal and ignorant (funny how they go together) and knew exactly how to push Dads buttons. As I said, we are very alike and so winding him up came naturally for me. Winding people up in general seems to be a gift of mine, however, while mostly this is a humorous trait when it came to Dad it often lacked the funny side and was more about me being counter-dependant for the sake of it.
To my great relief, I grew up a little and the respect for Dad surfaced once more. He is where I turn when I need advice, when I need help, when I have questions, and when I need money ;P He is the person I admire most in this world and he is who I model myself on, the standard against which I measure myself. I would be very happy at the end of my life if I could say nothing more than that I measured up to my Dad.
I know that Dad is getting older. Something brought into focus by my own age, which worries me so add 26 on top... And I also know that, like me, he feels younger than he is and does not like some of the changes that time is bringing. They are different changes for each of us but the affect seems to be fairly similar. Change happens and there is not much we can do about it, but to try and hold on to the past will only make it worse, it's something I'm learning to let go of and to be satisfied with where I'm at and even await the changes that the Lord will bring in me in time.. with hope. I pray the same for Dad and have a feeling that with 26 extra years of wisdom he might just!
I love you Dad. Happy Birthday!

Inadequate

2007-06-20T23:59:00.000+01:00

I stepped up today, and I found myself completely and utterly inadequate. I stepped back down, my gut wrenching, and turned away in shame. I want to be so much more than I am. I want to take the opportunities that come along. I want to be worthy of the opportunities that come along. Tonite, I fear I was not. Now I am sad. Sad that I failed. Sad that I couldn't help. Sad that someone should even be in pain in the first instance.
That is all.

iWeb

2007-06-14T21:43:00.000+01:00

There's a fairly consistent theme to my existence for the last couple of weeks that can be summed up: knackered. Having said that I found it surprisingly easy [not to be confused with actually easy] to get to Risboro for 8am this morning. The strange amount of energy followed me through the day and so I came home this afternoon actually able to speak, smile, laugh and stand. Normally Thursday evening sees me crawl through the door and go hide in my room. It made a nice change.
Have been designing things on iWeb. I think I finally hit a breakthrough this evening on the new website [due to replace the blogspot post haste] but encountered almost immediately an infinitely more expert problem. The program is fairly simple, indeed if you just want to fill in the template it's a piece of cake, but I had some more creative dreams and ideas and only really started to progress when I gave up trying to integrate my ideas with the existing templates and just went nuts. My present challenge lies in trying to match the four colours in a photo [the quartered album style photo that sits at the top of my sidebar in fact] with a back ground colour in the program. Anyone who has any ideas or can tell me what the colours are called or where I can find said information on t'internet shall receive a boon of great worth.*
I'm going to watch a movie and go to bed. Peace Out.

The Blessing of the Lord

2007-06-11T12:40:00.000+01:00

Had a crazy weekend. Friday nite was drop in, which went really well. There's a new basketball court that's just been built on the field and there were stacks of kids out so we managed to get quite a good game going. I played some great three on three against Sam, our massive black dude who towers over the ring, and pretty much scores every time he gets the ball. It was good to play with some guys who know how to play and I played the best basketball I've played in a lot of years.
Couldn't sleep Friday nite and ended up on the fone to a friend at three in the morning, something that I paid for dearly the next morning when I had to get up at 8 to get a bus to Wheatley so I could go down to help at the Corfe Mullen Festival. The festival was good except that Guy and I were both shattered and were fading towards the end. They stuck us on a train back to Oxford and we pulled out our laptops to plan the Internship lesson we've only had two months warning to get ready for (taught it today!) and worked most of the way home.
We got off the platform at Oxford with a pair of headaches and some serious BO between us and started trudging back to Iffley road. And then the Lord did pour out onto us his mighty blessing upon us. Every traffic crossig we came to changed to green on our approach (there were approximately twelve of these consecutive changes on the trudge home), then Guy turned to me and said "You know what would be crazy but awesome right now?" to which I replied "Getting Krispy Kremes" great minds... So we make a slight detour to Krispy Kremes praying all the while that the Lord will extend the normal opening hours past 7pm (a deadline that had already past) and shower us with donuts. It turns out that Krispy Kremes stays open until 8 on saturdays! In we strolled and ordered a dozen assorted donuts and then as we were paying for them one of the girls behind the counter asked us if we'd like a free dozen donuts. We walked out of Krispy Kremes with no less than 24 donuts and renewed spirits. As we stepped onto the road outside KK's without even pausing, the traffic lights turned green for us.
We finished the nite eating Guys magical pasta bake and donuts and drinking tea while watching the Ilse of Wight music festival on TV and receiving wondrous neck rubs from one of our friends. Insanely, I managed to hold out til 2am to see Muse and Kasabian play before we all crashed out.
Sunday was a Day of rest, none of us waking up until after twelve and then going shopping in Oxford and walking round the university parks and chatting. A very chilled afternoon was spent at Iffley road before I headed home from what had become a great weekend despite seeming like hell on saturday morning.

Wind Up

2007-06-05T20:19:00.000+01:00

Had an entertaining time this arvo winding Heth up. It culminated in a magical series of pranks when she dropped me home. First I refused to get out the car, she couldn't make me, she tried pretty hard too. Then I got out the car and took her bag with me, which she wouldn't have noticed had I not slung it over my shoulder as I walked away (so she wouldn't drive off without her wallet and fone) and then waited round the corner for the good three minutes it took her to realise I wasn't coming back with it to come find me and chase me round the drive until she realised her bag was under the car. I then got in the drivers seat of her car and locked the doors. After teasing her for a couple of minutes James showed up and I started talking to him through the slit in the window I'd opened, completely ignoring Heth who was getting more and more annoyed (should mention that she couldn't stop laughing either, I generally end the game when the other person no longer finds it funny) I eventually let her have her car back, leaving her with three minutes to get to Risboro, did I mention she was on her way out?
Finished up the evening with the boys watching Jackass 2, funnily enough at the same place as Heth who was upstairs watching the disgrace that is "The Pursuit of Happiness" which I have refused to watch on the basis that it reeks of soppy cheese and a moral of "everything will be ok" ...utter rubbish. Jackass 2 was not as good as the first one, more sickening stupidity this time round, altho there were some quality stunts. One guy held on to the end of a dangling fire hose which was turned on full blast and went nuts, and Johnny Knoxville set up a brilliant gag with a note on a wall that had an extendable boxing glove behind it!

Games in the Woods

2007-06-03T22:20:00.000+01:00

Had a BBQ up Wendover Woods this arvo. Was really really good. Nice and chilled, played "golf" with the lads while we thought the girls were doing the BBQ ("Golf" involves getting a random selection of rugby's, football's, tennis ball's and vortex's and improvising with trees and signs and benches and basically anything you can find to make a golf course and you then use your ball to navigate the course in as few shots as possible, the winner then designs the next hole. Brilliantly simple and loads of fun) having played the front ten (needed an even nimber so our swapping of the balls would be fair) we returned to find a smoking heap of coals on the BBQ that the gorls informed us had been on fire approximately three times and had died out an equal number of times and in the course of all of this no one had thought to cook any food. A more accurate summary is probably that the girls squirted a load of lighter fluid on the BBQ and waited until it died down before repeating the process. Pete resurrected a fire from the pile of smoking coal, accompanied by a worrying comment from the girls "aren't you meant to put the kindling on top of the coals?" No, you're definitely not meant to do that, and no, you will never be touching the fire again. (Harsh but fair) We managed to cook some grub and set about eating it, this process deteriorated into an hilarious food fight after about half an hour and ended with Matt in a considerable amount of trouble with his girlfriend who he had tipped off the bench and then poured water over, from my end this was perhaps the funniest part of the nite but I can understand it was probly less amusing for her.
This fun was followed up by a game of rugby before we hid under some trees as the rain started, Heth chose this moment to pull out the cake, not bad timing really, just a little different to normal and then we sat about chatting until the rain went away and we finished with a game of ultimate vortex (like ultimate frisbee but with a vortex) The fun really started on the way out the woods, the gates are locked at nine so we had a curfew and this presented opportunity for mischief! As we got to the gate I jumped out and went to close it on Pauls car behind us, the gate was padlocked to a post, which presented little issue as I simply ripped it out the ground and dragged it along too (ok, so someone had obviously dug it out earlier, was still pretty funny) letting them through I put the pole back in the ground and turned to find the rotten sods had both driven off without me! I ran down the road and Paul drove back up to find me and then I hid in the back seat as he drove past the others and made like he hadn't been able to find me, leaving them trying to work out where I actually was. This kicked off an awesome (read: dangerous) trip home, the highlight of which was probly Paul deciding to follow Ian round the roundabout twice at the last second, jerking his Jag back onto the circle and sending Jenny sliding across the back seat into me very much like a cartoon! (Neither Jenny or I had managed to work out the seat belts in the back and so weren't strapped in, after we stopped laughing we put some effort into figuring them out and securing ourselves)
Now I'm home and rather sleepy, so I shall chip to bed.

Worlds End

2007-06-02T20:08:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was Pirates day. I took the church youth to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3, dressed as Pirates. Not totally unheard of, especially in recent times, but for going to an Aylesbury cinema it was a fairly daring and courageous move. (Especially from Matt and I whose outfits came largely from Lucy's wardrobe and were wearing eye liner that made us look like a pair of VERY gay pirates) Before heading to see the third movie we watched the first two movies at Matts place. I'd been planning this for a while and it was good fun, but my enjoyment was marred by a sodding cold, a headache (probly due to the cold), and feeling very drained from a big week and the cold and just really wanting to sleep. The third movie was somewhat predictable, I managed to pick most of the plot twists but still enjoyed them and the fight scenes were quality so I really enjoyed it all in all.
The huge week is now done, just church and a bbq tomoro and life goes back to normal after a rather different week.

It's all about Jo

2007-05-29T11:29:00.000+01:00

Jo is here. She flew from Australia to see me for my birthday. What I want to know is where are the rest of you? Huh?! Huh?! Ok, so maybe Jo is on a round the world jaunt and made a slight detour to come and visit me, still, great work from her! The weather here turned on a treat yesterday, tipped it down constantly for 24 hours, Oxford was disgusting, for such a beautiful city I've never seen it look so miserable and dead. Welcome to England Jo. (Oh, forgot the explanation of the title, there is one rule with Jo, that must never ever be broken, it's all about Jo. Simple eh?)
I'm now 20. Or, as is becoming popular amongst those forced to leave their teenage years by the unstoppable force we like to call "time": Twenteen. I'm not particularly loving the idea of no longer being a teenager but I will probly get over it sometime soon. I like being the "young one", the youngest in my class, younger than people think I am, young enough to get away with some of the crazy things I do. Oddly, I am the oldest child in my family. Perhaps a contributing factor to my liking of being young and not having responsibility. Whatever the reasons, I enjoy my youth and intend to continue to make use of it, it is a significant number, but ultimately, just a number, and I have no intention of growing up anytime soon =]

How do you like THEM apples?!

2007-05-25T18:20:00.000+01:00

The Mac is here! And after some initial "fun" is connected to the net, tho not by my doing or understanding, and is very very very cool! The switch from PC is far from over but I'm getting there, need some coaching and some spare time to work it out, have actually not had a moment to chill since I got it, with the exception of last nite where I was so tired all I managed to do was put a DVD on it and crash out. (The picture and the sound were amazing!)
This weekend see's the start of the busiest week of my life, feels like anyway. Canoeing in Wales, then having a friend from Oz for three days (!) and then have a day of rock climbing, then a pirates day, then a park party with church, then I collapse in a heap and die... fun fun!

The Knights Tale

2007-05-22T18:10:00.000+01:00

I found the scroll containing Guybo's marvelous introduction to my talk, it's now hanging on my wall next to the photo of the Queen. Here's the transcript for your reading pleasure, the talk is below.

My Lords, my Ladies, and everyone else to poor to buy a peerage under the present government! It is my pleasure, nay, my privelage, my honour to introduce to you a man of such stature, such eloquence, and such sobriety that we are not worthy of his corpulence. His Father, Marcus of Australia, is renowned throughout the Western shores, a man whose deeds I am not able to recall at this point. I first met him in the backwaters of Tasmania where he laboured long and hard in his knighthood training. Whilst there he did distinguish himself as a friend to man and beast, being the first to jump the rocks of death at Diamond Gorge Launceston - flying through the air like a winged sea bass!

He has spent two long years away from his family, far from familiar shores, in order that he would better understand how to serve the British Empire. A man so devoted to the Queen that he wears a crown and robe behind closed doors, and sleeps with her picture above his bed. A man so pure that his sweat is drinkable; so modest that you will never hear him swear or curse; and a man so brave that dragons fear his name.
Adults want to be him; Children want to be like him; Women want to be near him; Animals want to smell him..... We sit in the aroma of his greatness, smelling the stench of his intrepidation! The one, the only, a man who needs no introduction but has one anyway..... Zachariah Holt!

And then I said...

It’s kind of cool getting an introduction like that eh. We all have stories that we’re proud of, cool stuff we've done that we'd kind of like other people to know. But we can’t tell these stories ourselves coz we'd come across arrogant. But if someone else tells these stories, it might be a little bit embarrassing, but really we kind of enjoy the fact that others know our greatest achievements, the best things that we've done. But what if I said Guy was going to come back up here and introduce you. Only, instead of telling everyone all the best stuff about you, he was going to list your worst moments, all the things you are most ashamed and embarrassed of...? And we’ve all got these stories don’t we, the stuff we hide, our worst secrets that we dread other people finding out, things that can still cause us to feel guilt and shame, even years after the fact.

When I was 12 I was at a BBQ in a park with my family. My sister and I were on the playground and Dad called us from across the field and said it was time to go and so we started to run back. Part way there, for no reason at all, I tripped my sister up. I don’t know what I was thinking and I could never explain why I did this, but one moment my precious little sister was smiling and laughing as she ran, and the next she's in a heap on the ground crying and bleeding and hurt and she's bitten halfway through her tongue.

In one moment I’d caused her a month of pain. I was, I still am, so ashamed of what I did, it was like I was dying inside.

The bible tells us that all have sinned, everyone of us falls short. And there is a consequence; “the wages of sin is death”, both physical death and the internal death we feel inside when we mess up, the guilt and shame and sorrow that we feel because we know that what we've done is wrong.

I want to show you a clip from the film. (watch from 7 minutes to the end of the clip)

When William, or Ulrich, first meets Chaucer he’s walking down the road naked, they presume him to have been robbed. In this clip we see that the real reason Chaucer was naked is that he has a gambling problem and literally lost everything.

Kind of like the consequence of sin, Chaucer faces being beaten by his creditors, probably quite severely, and his only hope lies with the man he lied to, who has no reason to help him.

I want to introduce someone else to you at this point:

He was born to two teenagers, presumed illegitimate by the scandal surrounding his birth, he grew up in Egypt because the king of his own country wanted him dead. He returned to his hometown with his parents some years later where he grew into a strapping young man, wise and respected. He spent three years teaching great crowds, impressing all from the most common of peasants to the rulers of the day. He cared for the sick and the poor, he had time and love for those rejected by all others, he performed many great works and miracles and was hailed by many as the foretold Messiah or saviour. His name is Jesus, the Son of God.

And unlike every one of us, he had never sinned. He never stuffed it up. And so like Will in the film, he was the only one who could clear the debt. And so, he did.

The wages of sin is death, and so the only price that could clear the debt was Jesus’ own death, a price he paid on the cross. The story is not over there though, three days later God raised Jesus from the dead. The price was paid and so God was free to undo the effects of sin, and free us from death.

I want to show you one more clip, right from the end of the film. (Watch the first one minute and twenty seconds of this clip)

And the point is this: You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting… But forgiven. Welcome to the new world.

Jesus said “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Because of what he did we can come to the Father and receive the forgiveness that he purchased for us.

The Prophetic Warrior Shepard Statesman

2007-05-21T17:15:00.000+01:00

One of my teachers once told us that his aim was to turn us into Prophetic Warrior Shepard Statesmen (and women I suppose, there were females in the room as well, altho as a matter of personal preference I'm inclined to sexism in such instances) I'm sure there's meant to be some sort of hyphen slash combination in that mouthful but I for one can't be bothered to work it out. An strange thing to say, and indeed a stranger thing to post on the internet, however the interns came out of class today analysing each other before moving on to Guybo and myself and what they were analyising was which of four categories we "fit". The options were: Agitator- angry little man (ok, not quite that harsh, but close). Prophet/Myth-maker- visionary who is very useful at the beginning of great undertakings and rather less useful towards the end. Statesman- leader who sees not only the vision but also the people he (more sexism) is leading and is capable of caring for them and holding their trust. And Administrator- a highly organised (and likely anal) individual who has the irritating ability to make things happen and more often than not block the things they do not want to happen. (Guess which one I'm not)
Now, I'll grant you that this is my rather skewed interpretation of a brilliant piece of work, and that each character has a vital role to play at different points in leadership, yes, even the administrator (and to be fair two of my favourite people in the world are the past and present parish administrators in Haddenham, so it is possible to do this job in a non-obstructionist manner, it's just that the generally anal temperament of administrators is not conducive to this). Back to the point; as the analysis moved around the room bringing great amusement with it for the most part, I set about reflecting on the impact of each of these roles and especially on how they work in my life and most recently in the organisation of the Breakout on Saturday. The group turned its focus on me last of all (I like going last for some reason, happens quite a bit) and the concensus was that I was a "Prophet-maker Statesman" which I believe was Grets attempt to combine the middle two characters into one. There was a definite agreement that I lacked the capacity to organise anything more complex than a piss-up in a brewery (not entirely accurate and something that unfortunately is the topic of many pieces of "construcive criticism" that come my way) but that I have some sort of capacity for leadership. Having been informed of this I went and grabbed the notes so as to work out what precisely they were talking about and then came the memory of my teachers aim which was the opening line of this here post.
Having unpacked that lunch-box of fun, I can no longer remember whether or not I had a point I intended to make or not. But it was an interesting thought process anyway. Will post my talk from the Breakout as soon as I find a copy of Guybos introduction to my talk, which multiplies the entertainment value many times over. Suffice to say for the moment that it was a good day and that I went to bed at 8 last nite and did not wake until 10 this morning!

Impatiently Waiting

2007-05-18T12:31:00.000+01:00

Macbook is still not here. I'm as impatient as a four year old on Christmas morning at 4am... and that was last week! Each day I think "surely it will arrive today" and each day I am surely disappointed. Oddly patience is growing the longer it takes to get here, you think it would be the other way around.
A French market has appeared on the high street in Risboro, a quick jaunt has so far yielded an awesomely spicy Spanish sausage (French market, German looking Spanish sausage.. work that out!) and some gifts for my mother and sister. If I post them now they may get there for Christmas! As I walked away I had the thought that it would be nice to get something for my adopted mother and sister as well so I think I'll head back down there in a bit to pick a couple more things up.
Day trip tomoro. I'm doing the talk. Have been avoiding this for ages and it finally caught up with me. Damnit. The last two day trips have felt v strange, or rather the last two days before-hand have as I now work for the church Thursday-Friday and so miss out on the last minute hall arse to make it all happen. Tis a disconcerting feeling despite its many benefits. The theme is A Knights Tale, which is a fantastic Heath Ledger movie featuring the brilliant Paul Bettany (The Da Vinci Code, Wimbledon) and lends itself well to a lot of fun. My research for the day involved watching it on YouTube one day at work. Which actually proved a good use of time as I got the idea for the talk from it. Now I just have to finish writing it and start practicing! O how I detest public speaking.

Spot the Difference

2007-05-10T17:23:00.000+01:00

A mate posted this link to two photos that have three differences, supposedly only 19 people have ever spotted all three. I've got two so far but the third is eluding me.
http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/Zoeken.swf

Veja du

2007-05-02T11:36:00.000+01:00

is the feeling that you will probably be there again. Generally asociated with exhaustive meetings, church services, certain arguments and general elections involving John Howard. HT to Ian of YouthBlog for this piece of genius that brightened my morning.

Two Dinners, Two Lots of Pudding!

2007-05-01T22:50:00.000+01:00

Twas a good nite! Caught up with a good friend who I don't get to see nearly enough, coached Harry to victory in an eating contest against Timbo at Talk and Tucker, watched Liverpool beat Chelsea in the Champions League, twas a good nite! Now have a youth report to write for the church AGM tomoro nite, fun fun! (Oh! also; had a shave, tis the cleanest my face has been for two years but I just can't bring myself to get rid of it all)

Shattered

2007-04-29T17:15:00.000+01:00

Lack of sleep has ceased to be something to be sought after, at least for a week or two. I am seriously tired. Tis not good. Need a couple of weeks worth of rest I think. Friday was drop in and then Sammie's birthday, which involved a posse up Chinnor Hill til 4am. Had to drag myself up for the Love China festival in Oxford a few hours later, which afforded me a couple of opportunities but also a few frustrations, not least of which was getting stuck in Oxford til 6 and missing the second leg of Sammie's birthday at Wendover Woods. I did order a laptop tho! It's a long and complicated story of frustration and heart ache, which has reasched the crucial moment of what may prove to be a rash decision. However, said rash decision will now innevitably end with a stupidly awesome Macbook in my posession and the first tick off the wish list, so I'm ok with that!

For anyone who has ever sat through a oral presentation of excessive length (anyone who has heard Geoff Blease or Mal Garvin speak about anything probably comes under this category) should go to dictionary.com and look up "prolix" for a good laugh.

Happy Thursday

2007-04-26T23:39:00.000+01:00

I decided to ride my bike to work today. By which I mean; I missed the train and had to leg it across three fields, a hedge and a herd of sheep. Mixed day of success and frustration. Feel like I am getting somewhere with my youth work, or more accurately, have got somewhere and am starting to recognise some skills within myself that I wasn't fully aware of. A nice feeling with a double edge as I seem to find these things easier working with the church and much more difficult when working for my top secret employers. Had some good ups with planning drop in, actually managed to produce a risk assessment without becoming catatonic with boredom and frustration, we're allowed outside to play football and all sorts of other fun things (last week saw me staring out the window, shifting from foot to foot like a five year old who's been told he can't go outside to play). The big frustration of the day was that I got paid, which meant that I finally have enough money to buy the mac book I've been saving for, and so went online to check it's still there only to discover that the model I was after has disappeared to be replaced by a better model which costs an unfortunate 170 pounds extra. So annoyed it's untrue. Not sure at all what to do now and I'm desperate for my savings not to melt away as they inevitably seem to do if I don't spend them decisively on the objects of my desire. Curses. Ahh well, thought it was time for a Happy Thursday as we haven't had one of them for a while. Came into Oxford for a friends birthday and now find myself staying at Guybo's as it was a more appealing option than catching a ludicrously expensive bus home tonite. Time for bed says I.

Weekend

2007-04-23T23:30:00.000+01:00

Had a pretty big weekend. Didn't go to sleep until 7.30 this morning, good thing I did the festival on Saturday and so had today off coz I then slept til 4! Got up, cooked dinner for cell, had cell, cleared up and came home. I'm knackered and going to bed!
(Found my torch that disappeared on New Years at Heth's, Huzzah! She has free house at the mo so the better part of the weekend was spent there)

Google Maps

2007-04-21T00:30:00.000+01:00

Thought this was definitely worth stealing when I saw it.

1. Go to www.google.com

2. Click on maps

3. Click on get directions

4. Go from "new york" to "paris, france"

5. Scroll down in the directions to number 24 and read

6. Laugh

School

2007-04-20T13:56:00.000+01:00

I was in the School in Riboro all day yesterday, this meant getting up at stupid o'clock to be there on time and make a good impression, totally not worth it. Sleep is an undervalued commodity. Was quite a good day, got involved in a game of Bulldog with some boys at lunch before being informed that "the children are not allowed to play bulldog" by the teacher on duty... whoops!
Jordy is providing me much entertainment as he msn's me about the female species "if we ever had a war with them they'd kick our sorry arses" all too true...

Roll on the Summer

2007-04-17T22:25:00.000+01:00

The summer has begun! Well the spring really, but England only has two seasons; summer and winter, often interspersed because basically if it's sunny in the middle of December they call it summer and if it's raining in July they call it winter. (For the antipodean readers the northern hemisphere is messed up and summer and winter are swapped around, therefore sun in December is uncommon as opposed to standard) The standard practice for celbrating any hint of sunshine in the UK is to don shorts, shirt, thongs (called flipflops as "thongs" translates to "g-string" in British society) and go sit outside and play sport for as long as the light lasts. At it's best this is until a massive 10pm, tonite we made it til quarter to 9 playing touch rugby and football on the green, it was awesome!

Bacon Sanwiches and Salvation

2007-04-14T15:23:00.000+01:00

The lack of posts over easter does not reflect a lack of activity in the Posse House, in fact, it reflects a load of activity and hence a lack of opportunity to post. Easter was massively busy and massively awesome. I went through a crazy sleep pattern, not sleeping Thursday nite so that I could drive Heth to the airport at 3am (closer to 4am by the time she was actually ready to go!) and then snatching an hours nap before the Good Friday breakfast and Easter March in Risboro. Friday I slept and then Saturday was the Easter Prayer nite so I stayed up all nite praying and mucking about with a bunch of the youth from church (In order for much of the prayer nite to happen I had to fit myself, Guybo, twelve cushions, a guitar, an amp, two duvets, three boxes of art pens, two a3 pads of paper, one board game, two bags of clothes, a djambe (drum), a PA system and a data projector into the smallest Ford KA ever invented. I took a photo but it really doesn't do the magnificence of the feat justice). We then headed to the Easter Sunday service on little or no sleep (I think everyone except for Emma and myself got a little bit of sleep) and the service was really good as well. This is very possibly due to the fact that I was so tired I'd hit the hyper phase and so was being a clown, as were most of the others now that I think of it. Emma and I went up the front for one of the kids activities (two reasons for this: we had had the least sleep -namely none- and were therefore the most hyper, and to bag the free chocolate) and Guybo made me the funniest Easter card ever, it consisted of two pictures- one of him holding up the "vicar" to get the chocolate and the other with the subtitle "From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks" (something Geoff had been talking about in the sermon) and a picture of us going crazy screaming GIVE ME CAFFIENE! We finished the service by adding to our carbon footprints and releasing some helium baloons with our names written on them, meant to symbolise something I can't remember, and then Guy and I spent an extremely hyper half hour mostly reciting lines from Cromwell a movie we have both seen multiple times (and will probably see a few more with our present work) before we headed to radnage for a BBQ with some aussie friends. Sunday nite I slept from 7pm til 10am, woke up briefly at 1am and for some reason I remember feeling better then than when I woke up in the morning. Monday I had two BBQ's, one as a late lunch in Oxford, the next more unexpected as Binnie and I had been invited to the Tippings for dinner and the girls had decided to reverse the gender roles on us and were burning the heck out of some snags and kebabs (actually they did a great job, but don't tell them that!) and we headed up Chinnor hill to chill out, which we did, both figuratively and literally until 5am when we realised Sammie had to be at work in 4hours and perhaps we should head home.
Tuesday, on not a lot of sleep, Binnie and myself drove down to Minehead for Spring Harvest. I think we had both built up unrealistic expectations in our heads (talk of staying in chalets ten mins from the beach and that kind of thing had me dreaming of an Aussie beach with large chalets just up the hill. Minehead, it turns out, is more along the lines of brown dirt beach (which to be fair is good quality in England) and rows of dorms in a tacky version of an English caravan park. Don't hear me complaining, it was actually alright and I was massively thankful for the invite, it was just not Oz. So instead Binnie and I spent the week planning a trip to Oz for about a year and a halfs time, dreaming of Augusta and Beach Mission and Kings Park and Hillary's and the beach... And we made use of the sunshine and beach whilst it was there, I won't make extravagant claims about tans or anything but I'm not feeling quite so pale as I have been the last few months! The definite highlight of the week was seeing Adrian Plass speak, he was brilliant, so good in fact that I bought his book Bacon Sandwiches and Salvation which is bringing me much entertainment. He works his way through the alphabet defining certain terms and nouns in amusing and occasionally deep ways throwing in a few stories and bits of value along the way. My favourites so far are Bless You: Clear Off and Unity: the bond that automatically joins together all those who love Jesus, definitely not an informal agreement that we all hate the Baptists. We concluded in the end that Spring Harvest was catering for old people and therefore there were snippets that we would enjoy and a lot that we wouldn't. We therefore made the best use of our time by attending things of interest - I got my text read out twice by Steve Chalke in one question/debate/talky session, never figured out why he read it the second time but I was still well proud - and spending the rest of the time chilling on the beach or practicing our left handed throws with the vortex, getting quite decent now. Friday I spent about 8hours driving. My sense of direction utterly deserted me, possibly due to fatigue, and we managed to miss the turn onto the M4, the A40 and the Gloucester slip road! So we ended up 5miles past Cheltenham and had to backtrack and cut down to the A40, where we got stuck in the most irritating traffic jam ever. Later I drove with Sammie to pick Heth up from Gatwick, adding an hour to the journey as I managed to miss the M25 both on the way there and the way back and then we nearly ran out of fuel and had to jump off the motorway at Wycome and proceeded to head towards Beaconsfield, which turns out to be the opposite direction to home, corrected this and arrived home at 2.30am as opposed to the planned 1am. Spent today bumming around and doing some work on the side.
Follow the Captain Justice link in my blog roll for Guys rather entertaining account of the Easter Prayer Nite.

Knut

2007-04-06T20:07:00.000+01:00

I love Polar Bears. They are my favourite animals. I love their strength and beauty and the "personality" that I still attribute to them even tho I know that they are animals and therefore don't have "personalities" as such. However, in my head: they do. (Also in my head animals could talk in the garden of Eden and will be able to talk again in the new heaven and earth, Im not arguing this as correct theology but it's how my head works so don't mess with it) A friend sent me this link to a video of the cutest baby Polar Bear called "Knut" (no idea of the pronunciation there) and I instantly decided he would be an addition to the fictional floating house Marigold that I have decided to write stories about due to the difficulties in actually building a floating house and filling it with various animals and people.

Celebrated the summer sunshine by playing football for two hours this afternoon. Was meant to go rock climbing with Ebbie but had overlooked good friday being a bank holiday and so had to "settle" for football. First ten minutes were apalling, everyone was massively rusty and so played like a bunch of year 8 school girls until we got back into it and started playing some decent football. On the way to take Ebbie home he announced that the run down church we were passing was going to be his in nine years time, when asked for more details about this he gave some explanation that sounded vaguely like squatters rights and conning the council out of it basically. What started as an outlandish claim proceeded to become a hilarious cock and bull fantasy when we reached the crux of it. Binnie and I spent the rest of the trip laughing as Ebbie continued to expound his idea reaching new heights of fantasy and moving further and further away from reality with each new sentence, providing me with the best laugh I've had all week I believe. I love that boy!

Numb

2007-04-03T12:47:00.000+01:00

I woke up early this morning with my right arm uncomfortably numb, not an unheard of phenomenon but this morning was a little different. I sat up to shake some blood back into it and found it hanging limp at my side. I tried to lift it but it just hung there. Slightly confused and still half asleep I picked it up with my left hand and dropped it in my lap. Still limp. Not good. My mind was beginning to wake up at this point and an edge of fear was creeping in as I was getting zippo response from my right arm. I stood up and managed to move my hand, flexed my fingers a few times and began to slowly regain the use of my arm. A couple of minutes later the numbness was fading and my arm appeared to be back to normal. The edge of fear was still there as I thought about what it must be like to be paralysed. To not be able to move you limbs despite all effort. To sit there, helpless. And all of a sudden I can empathise just a little. This afternoon I am going to visit a young guy who was paralysed a couple of years ago. I've not met him before but have been told he is a remarkable person and that I will get at least as much out of the visit as he will. I go with a new perspective; just ever so slightly knowing the tiniest smidge of what his life must be like.

Cell

2007-04-02T23:53:00.000+01:00

Had an amazing nite! Binnie and I cooked for no less than 15 people (and did a pretty sweet job of it as well) and I had so much fun cooking and messing about and chatting and just serving, I really love doing stuff, I seriously don't think I would have had even half as much fun if I'd been sat in the dining room with the others chatting, but I had an awesome time cooking and washing up and just serving. Then we had cell and then I messed about a bit more with Binnie before we kicked ourselves out to leave the Childs' in peace. Can't wait for Spring Harvest next week, it's gonna be amazing, get four days next to the beach to chill with Binnie and the family and just live it up!

Spring Harvest

2007-04-01T15:28:00.000+01:00

Got invited to go with Binnie's family to Spring Harvest over easter, had no idea what it was really but sounded like a good laugh and they had a free place so I thought why not. Just had the "briefing" about it, turns out this thing is awesome! It's across the road from the beach (and it's in Devon so I'm expecting a real beach not one of these pathetic pebble wastes of coast line) it has a whole stack of different seminars and stuff on the go, and it has entertainment options such as a cinema, football, basketball, go-karts, and quad bikes!!!! Thankyou Lord!!!! And I get to spend the whole time there with one of my best mates plus a couple of other friends who I don't get to see that often, soooooo good. I'm taking the dubious risk of driving Heths car down there as shes in Gambia for a week. My record with people lending cars in the last couple of months has not been good by any measure but Heths car is a fair bit newer and a lot less likely to break down... I hope.
Everyones back from uni at the moment, it's really cool to see people and catch up, the suns out again, weathers turned for the better, everythings falling into place for one sweet summer. The only slight downer is that my knee decided to start playing up and Binnie's injured as well so we're holding off the sport for another week or so (praying hard that we're both fit for spring harvest) but we both managed a bike ride that took us the better part of 30miles yesterday so I think we should be right.
Bit of work to get done this week so I can really enjoy the holiday, shouldn't be a worry!

Utter Utter Somethings

2007-03-28T17:39:00.000+01:00

Just Guybo and myself in the office today, which is a recipe for two things; entertainment and disaster (generally in some kind of combination) First half of the day went well if not, perhaps, productive. Then we left for Youth Cafe and the fun began.

First; we missed the bus.
Second; sitting at the bus stop I managed to lean on my glasses and pop one of the lenses out.
Third; I found the screw and pulled out my little knife/tool thingo to put it back in but just as I went to insert the tiniest screw on earth I slipped and lost it in the dirt on the side of the road. Several minutes of Guy and I scratching about like chickens, me with the lens squinched in my eye like a monocle, produced nothing even when we enlisted the aid of a girl at the bus stop (who picked my accent as aussie, well happy with that as I've been told I'm losing it)
Fourth; realise about two minutes after getting on the bus that we left the cushion covers for the couch at the office.
Fifth; get a call from Guy whilst sitting in the Optometrist waiting to have my glasses fixed informing me that he thinks he has left the key to the cafe in the office in Haddenham.
Sixth; Optometrist informs me that my glasses are buggered as the screw was not loose but rather there is a crack in the frame. He managed to fix it so that it will stay for a bit but if it goes again its stuffed.
Seventh; get to cafe and find Guy standing outside talking to Charlie. Briefly consider taking her and Guy down the pub and sitting out in the beer garden for the rest of the afternoon, rehearse my explanation to Wendy and Mal when they ask why Charlies irate parents are calling them about the youth workers who took their daughter to the pub and dismiss this course of action despite the temptation to do it for the sheer comedy value.
Eighth; boost Guy over the fence when we realise that we don't need a key once we're past the spiked gate, just the security code to the door. Once inside realise that in order to set anything up we need the key to the cupboard which we don't have and that the cushion covers for the sofa are also in the office in Haddenham. Decide to sit up top drinking tea, playing Hackey and chatting.
Ninth; Guy decides to teach us to sing. Charlie, it turns out, can sing like a nightingale. I, on the other hand, can't. The singing lessons get better and better as we go and end up replacing all the words to This Little Light of Mine with "moo". Guy informs us both that we both can sing very well despite our protests to the contrary.
Tenth; Charlie leaves and Guy looks at me with and says "Do you want the good news or the bad news?" Same thing he asked me when he called me in the optometrist. Bad news first. He pulls out the cafe keys and informs me he found them in his pocket about halfway through our singing lesson but didn't have the heart to tell me, and besides our singing lesson was going so well.

We had an entertaining chat, that involved a v comic discussion of the "take Charlie to the pub idea" (which incidently had crossed his mind as well) and the ensuing explanation, in his version Charlie had had twelve triple vodkas and was in hospital having her stomach pumped whilst we explained who we were, where we were from, and who precisely was responsible for our actions to Charlies parents. Before we parted for the day and headed for home thanking God that he works through our weakness and not through our organisational skills.

The Answer

2007-03-27T14:48:00.000+01:00

High Thanks to Andy Riley for the "five sided square" which is one of the many bits of genius I have extracted from his book. I hope you appreciate the comedy as much as I do.
Haven't been able to sleep the last few nites. Last nite I gave up trying and stayed up til three in the morning before finally finding that I was tired enough to collapse. Unfortunately the inability to sleep disappears the instant I lose consciousness and is replaced with an inability to awaken. My first thought upon waking was "Crap, I owe Dan a pie!!" (we have an ongoing bet about who will get to staff meeting first/on time) Ahhhh well...
Seeing 300 tonite!! Can't wait, gonna be so good!!
Just back from seeing 300 and thought I'd update this. The cinematography and graphics were fantastic. Very violent, as expected but the violence was done in a computer game style that was not real enough to make it hit home but incredible to watch. Fantastic battle scenes. The story was great, absolutely butchered the legend of Thermopylae but that was more or less what I expected anyway and it was done very very well, could have stretched it out over another half hour but it was still satisfying. The style of the movie was surreal. Based on a graphic novel (really big comic) it carried with it some of the typical elements of fantasy that are found in graphic novels aimed at older teenage, lets face it, boys, so there were a couple of nudie bits and plenty of drama. One thing that I noticed that I was a little bit perturbed about was that Xerxes (the Persian king) was referred to as King of Kings, Lord of Hosts and a couple of other titles reserved for God. I understand that the kings and emperors of the ancient world often fashioned themselves as "gods" but I've not seen quite so many biblical titles bestowed upon a character in a film who clearly does not represent God. (the last I remember noting was a song in Tarzan that called him the son of man) This is not something that causes me particular concern, it was just interesting to note. I did thoroughly enjoy 300 but I feel obliged to offer this warning (if it is not obvious already): it is not a girls film, and it is definitely not a film my parents should see. (Jordan will enjoy it a lot tho)
Oh! Almost forgot; it has David Wenham in it who is a legendary Aussie actor (played Faramir in Lord of the Rings) from the series Sea Change, which I would not hesitate to put forward as one of, if not the best australian television series ever.

The Square

2007-03-26T10:32:00.000+01:00

This square has a secret fifth side that you can only see if you stare at it for a very very long time.
Leave a comment if you've got it

Andy McKee

2007-03-25T17:51:00.001+01:00

I've seen Phil Keaggy play live and he does the impossible. Andy McKee I've only seen on YouTube but he's pretty amazing. He also has a wikid beard and looks a bit like Al who I had a good chat to today (broached the topics of Calvinism and Purgatory, bloody catholics)

Sophie

2007-03-24T00:30:00.000Z

Is 18 today!! Happy birthday sister!! Scophie is the best sister I have and could want and I miss her loads. (miss the boys too but its not their birthday(s) When we were little Soph and I used to play for hours and make up games and all sorts that was great fun, we have some sweet (and v embarrassing) home video of us playing in our band, consisting of a drum made out of an upside down washing basket and a wooden spoon. I remember Soph always used to be the one who would opt to miss out on stuff, like seconds of desert or some kind of treat, if there weren't enough to go around. She has a really beautiful selfless spirit. Stuff wasn't always great between Soph and I. There were a few years in the teenage bracket that were quite nasty in fact. This is a source of disappointment and regret for me, that I didn't have the maturity and love to see my sister outside of how she impacted on my world, and that I failed to care for her and be a good big brother in the years it probly would have counted most. As we both started to grow up a bit, and especially after I moved out of home, our relationship got heaps better and now we are quite close. Whenever I go home or get hold of her on the fone we have great chats about things and it's like it was when we were little, just enjoying each others company. Particularly of late I have noticed that Scoph is growing in Wisdom and Spiritual Maturity. She has twice now (at least) given me very solid advice that I have found massively helpful. I love you Soph and hope you have an amazing day and a wonderful year full of joy and opportunity.

Freezing

2007-03-22T21:56:00.000Z

Every time you think England is about to return to it's beautiful sunny state of summerness; it crushes your hopes with an ice cold fist. Snow. Thats right. And not even the nice stuff. The horrible sleety, flipping cold nasty stuff. I was well enough to head in to work today, after a slow start, which meant I ran into Dave whose come back to fix the ceiling and the bathroom. (He was fixing the bathroom upstairs a couple of weeks back when we heard something crack, someone swear, and then water started to come (read: pour) through the kitchen ceiling) Dave's a great bloke and so I stopped for a chat with him and Barbara over breakfast, the highlight of said chat was when Barbara said "Dave'll be fixing the bathroom upstairs from tomorow morning, so you better be in and out of the shower nice and early" brain still waking up at half ten struggled to compute exactly what she meant (still working on present tense I was like: I already had a shower, what're you talking about) Barbara turns to Dave "What time do you start?" (Daves MILES ahead of me on this one) "Oh, about quater to six" brain suddenly catches up, head jerks back in surprise "You What?!?" Barbara and Dave collapse in laughter, brain makes up the final few inches and realises I've been had.
Caught the train to Risboro and spent half the day shifting another mountain of junk out of the other half of the shop this time, the other half the day I spent making an invite for the Youth Forum we're hosting on Monday nite. I whipped up a brilliant one in about five minutes and shewed it to Geoff and Tim. Tim turned around and said he liked it but shouldn't we use the A2 logo rather than the CCF one? Conceding the point I got him to email it to me and replaced the CCF logo. And then the problem hit. Whilst the church logo is a quite nice picture of a red kite in a colour that perfectly matched the colour scheme I'd picked off of Publisher, the A2 logo did not. In fact the A2 logo is a garish royal blue on white. After fiddling unhappily with Publishers colour schemes I eventually gave in and went with the duotone of the A2 logo and produced an exceedingly dull invitation that a three year old could have put together. I have decided two things. One: I cannot wait to get my new mac laptop and have access to some brilliant graphic design technology all in a compact, stylishly simple, light weight package that is the MacBook (or the iBook, depending on how much money I end up deciding to fork out for this thing). Two: if I ever start a church I am going to maintain enough of a level of authority over things to ban anyone from ever using royal blue and white and any other stupid, tasteless, uncool design concepts that will utterly destroy our credibility and any hope of maintaining coolness with present youth trends. Now, youth trends in general seem to be a bit extreme (and some of them are just plain stupid) and so attempting to match them does not make you cool; it makes you a try hard. However, maintaining some sort of standard of style and taste will raise your estimation with young people. Even if they wouldn't wear or choose anything the same, they will still see the coolness present in being integral to your own identity without caving to tack or imitation.
The final moment from today that I feel is noteworthy enough to keep me awake any longer came after dinner tonite. In the kitchen (seems to be the place for comedy at the moment) we were clearing the dishes and chatting generally. I turned to Andy, whose just come home from uni for easter and turns 21 on Sunday, and asked him a question about Monday nite (I'd got an email from him about a nite out in Aylesbury with a bunch of his uni mates -not as rowdy as it sounds, they're from Cambridge- that said he was going out with whoever could make it, about 30 people on the list, and anyone who wanted could crash at his [parents] after) As we discussed this it caught his parents interest "What's this then?" and it dawned on me that they didn't know anything about it, and I sat there cracking up as it dawned on them exactly what we must be talking about. Andy didn't say anything but he was trying hard to a. not laugh and b. avoid eye contact with his parents. Classic!!

Dreams

2007-03-20T19:49:00.000Z

I've been sick since Sunday arvo. Some sort of cold thing that has totally sapped my energy and given me a nasty sore throat. Scored some time off work tho!! I often get strange dreams when I'm sick and this time has been no exception. Sunday nite I dreamed I was playing rugby with a bunch of people, my team was doing well but losing because for some reason all my players kept disappearing until there were just three of us in the scrum against about twelve on the other team. For some reason on of my two team mates was a girl in a skirt. Somehow this dream morphed into me fighting alongside Gandalf against two baddies, then Gandalf disappeared and it was just me using his staff and then that turned into a spear and I was was fighting a sorceress who I killed. And then I woke up. Strange stuff. Loving that I fought alongside Gandalf tho.
Am engaged in a fierce contest for top score on Solataire at the moment. Emma is presently beating me with 11168 points in 66 seconds. Nigh on impossible. I'm a whole 5 seconds behind her. Male pride at stake. Have ceased play for the day coz I am feeling like crap and no longer have access to a computer with a mouse (touchpad is useless for soataire) but will resume my efforts tomorow.

Plans

2007-03-18T16:01:00.000Z

I managed to get on Timbo's insurance for a week, starting yesterday, as he has chicken pox and is house bound. Naturally I made some plans to maximise the freedom and headed up to Loughborough yesterday to watch Ian play rugby and see Megan. The plan was to come home late, (like after 12 at least), so that Ian would be home for Mothers day (happy mothers day mum!! I know its not the Aussie one but I don't actually know when that is and will almost certainly miss it so I am capitalising on the opportunity) and so I could run sunday morning youth at church. That was the plan anyway. Halfway out of Oxford I noticed the heat guage was very high. A quick call to Tim put my mind at ease, apparently it stays hot till you get out on the motorway and then she cools down. So I headed up the motorway and got most of the way to the M1, just under halfway to Loughborough, when the engine light came on. I pulled into a service station and checked the water (had checked this AND the oil before I left and they had both been fine) both were still ok but I topped up the water and let it cool down for twenty mins before deciding to give it another go. The car seemed fine again, except that the heat climbed very quickly, and it was driving fine, not doing anything that it should not have been. About 5mins later however the car started losing power, the engine light came back on and I started hearing worrying noises, I just managed to get it to the next BP station where it promptly died and refused to come back to life. Steam from under the bonnet suggested a blown head gasket. Not good. I called Tim and he said it sounded like a head gasket, told me he'd make some calls and then see about getting me home.
3 hours later. I had finished my book, beaten my own high score at solataire three times (now stands at 119 seconds, 6573 points. Heck Yeah!!) listened to my cd five times, paid an exorbitant amount for a sandwich and muffin, and written half of a letter. Stu and Tim rocked up with the dirtiest, most pathetic piece of rope I've ever seen (about as tick as my finger) to tow me home with. We quadruple layered it to stop it snapping and being to big a gap between the cars and twisted it into a half decent rope which I double locked off in both directions and then some, basically I made it up as I went along but it worked. We worked out a series of army style hand signals to communicate what Stu was about to do in the car in front, and after a couple of missunderstandings and close calls worked it out so that we could drive almost as one. Cruising down the motorway at 50(miles) we were a sight to behold, so impressed were the other drivers they drove past with mouths agape, clearly speechless at our genius and daring. The Police however would not have been speechless on the topic and so we kept a sharp eye out and made it all the way to Oxford before not one but two police cars pulled out directly in front of us. We quickly pulled off the side of the road and I called Tim to say "Shizzer!! The bullen commen!!" (Something we picked up off the Germans last week that seemed appropriate to the situation) We made it home without further incident and had only snapped one strand of the make shift rope, we'd done well. Even better, there's a pub directly across from Tims house and I walked in just in time to see England score a spectacular first try against Wales (who, in fairness, beat them in style by the end of the match). France won the six nations, should have been Ireland... gutted.
So that the day was not a complete mess, Heth came to get me and we headed to Emma's to chill. Halfway there I realised that Heths lights weren't on. Spent the other half of the journey giving her stick about it. Watched the last half of Bridget Jones Diary, a thoroughly girly movie, before discovering Fight Club was on another channel, a thoroughly un-girly movie.
There were two up points to the weekend. Friday nite, the boys from last week showed up, I took them aside for a quick word and they were absolutely fine, they came in and played volleyball with us and there was not a hint of the anger and so on from last week. Grace and Mercy seemed to have a powerful effect. The whole nite was fantastic, a great four a side football thing got going and there was laughter and good natured banter in the other room all nite. Amazing stuff. The other thing was that I got given a bunch of clothes the pators son was throwing out, he's pretty much my size exactly and he has stupidly good taste in clothes as he is a designer. I quite literally doubled my wardrobe over nite.
Now feeling very much like I need to sleep so I think I'll go have a kip before church tonite. Im open to this becoming a kip instead of church tonite, but James is doing his first talk so I want to go support him.

The Key

2007-03-15T22:25:00.000Z

A few weeks back we moved the church office a hudred meters or so up the high street. At some point during the day we moved two massive lockable filing cabinets, I took the key out of one of these stupidly heavy cabinets so that we wouldn't break it and put it in my pocket so I wouldn't lose it. Several weeks later, I find said key in my pocket and after a couple of forgettings I remember to take it back to the office. By some stroke of luck I chose to hand it to Geoff and some instinct warned me not to go into too much detail (loving my instincts at this point) and Geoff goes "Shirley'll kill you!!" Turns out Shirley spent two days rummaging through boxes looking for this key, someone called Geoff in Nigeria to see if he had it, and then there's been an ongoing saga where Shirley's been accosting different people and possibilities to try and find this key with the blame largely falling on Geoff!! So Geoff laughs and gives me the wink, our little secret, and goes to give Shirley the key back. Far from being glad to have it back Shirley launched an inquest that lasted half the afternoon trying to work out where it was. Geoff did an admirable job of keeping the secret, although Shirley has cottoned on to my knowing the truth too as Geoff and I were sharing too many winks and in jokes too get away with it scott free. It provided some ongoing entertainment anyway, probly will for a while yet, at least till Shirley figures it out and defenestrates me out the upstairs window!!
Was a good day, all in all. I had a meeting with Geoff and one of the teachers from the local high school which went very well indeed. In a massive reversal of trends in schools, the teacher asked me how I'd feel about coming in for a whole day and doing various bits of youth work for them throughout, some mentoring and some lunch time stuff and some other stuff too probly. I was stoked, such a good response!! Geoff also gave me a bag of clothes his son has just thrown out, turns out he is pretty much my size exactly, and he has awesome taste. Loving it!!
Had Mart and Jen's farewell tonite, they're moving to Germany to start a centre for the work over there. Which means that the role of Fearless Leader has passed to Atari man (Danbo) who was welcomed as UK Director tonite (I'm gonna get many months worth of teasing him out of that!!) Was an ok nite except for the small talk, small talk drives me crazy, felt uncomfortable, ended up nicking off with some friends who had to pick someone up from the bus station to get away from it for a bit. Is strange, Mart's favourite pass time is chatting with loads of people so it was exactly his kind of party, (and has been the kind of party at every work function ever), but I really can't deal with those kinds of party's and inevitably end up going off to get some space. May possibly be working for the wrong organisation in that sense, they're very much into the whole networking/small talk gig, tho I recognise a valuable difference between the two, there is a definite link.
Anyhow. I must get to bed as tonite has turned into another late one despite my best intentions!!

Things that should be THOUGHT and NOT SAID

2007-03-13T20:47:00.000Z

Had a few funny moments in the last few days, largely involving things that should be thought but not voiced aloud. I have quite a history of voicing these things at the worst possible moment [like the time I asked "what do you call a black man flying a plane?" with a black lady standing behind me. the answer happens to be "a pilot, you racist" and so is not in fact a racist joke, however it was not good timing] but have come through the last few days unscathed by the backlash of offended fun sherrifs and full of mirth at my own one liners.
Some of the best ones are just lines that come out really really badly or make you sound really really dumb. For instance:
(Playing a game with a friend who has become distracted for some time now) "I feel like I'm playing with myself"
(During a discussion about a floating house and places we should visit) "We can go to Croatia!! I have some friends with a flat we can stay in there"
(At a cell group) "So do you think God would have been scared in that situation?"

And then there's the harsh thoughts that pop into your head and hopefully dont make it to your tongue. We'll leave those untyped as well as unsaid, altho some of them were pure gold. Have had a couple of funny skype chats with people who were in the same room as me trading secret banter about what else was going on in the meeting or discussion!! Some good comedy this week in the posse house!!

The Braai

2007-03-11T23:37:00.000Z

I should be sleeping as I am in a serious amount of pain from being awake but this video must be shown to the world!!

I'm not angry I'm just disappointed

2007-03-09T16:05:00.000Z

Tough nite at drop in. Some drunk kids started on one of the young people from church, he did amazingly well and just kept walking away. The situation kept escalating despite me throwing kids out and it came to a head when a bunch tried to come through a window and then a crowd of about 30 all stormed the place and there was me and Heth standing between them and the young guy and we were backed into a corner. The bastards got in a punch over my shoulder before running off like cowards, leaving Jamie with a bloody nose and me with a room full of scared kids. It was so frustrating not being able to fight back, 1- because we're not allowed to, and 2- because if I threw a punch a brawl would have erupted and a brawl that consists of me, Heth and Jamie versus 30 odd drunk kids ends with us very very beaten. I came away from it feeling disappointed that Jamie got hurt and that people were left frightened and frustrated that I hadnt been able to prevent it or at least punch someone!!
Lots of lessons learned on the crisis management front. Strangely in the debrief I found myself setting the course of action I knew we would have to take in spite of my desire to sock a few of these kids in the eye. Next week they will be welcomed back, provided they have not been drinking, and treated with grace and love. Boundaries will be set with the group as a whole about what kind of behaviour is acceptable in order for drop in to function. And I... will be praying for those kids who punched Jamie, and praying that God will soften my heart towards them in spite of what they've done.

Happy Birthday Mum!!!

2007-03-07T17:40:00.000Z

Very nearly called mum again today before I realised that its the 7th and Mums birthday is the 8th... that would have been twice in one year... unbelievable!! Anyway, thought I'd get the happy birthday post out of the way (let me rephrase that as, on reflection, it doesnt sound so great) what I mean is let me wish Mother a Happy Birthday via the internet now so that I dont forget to do so later and I shall call her tomorow.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The weekend was quite good in the end, taught a unit and ran some games (old people are boring I have concluded and want to go back to doing youth foundations, how can you not like games?!?!) and then the lads went exploring with a couple of female admirers in tow. Originally we had intended to nip down the pub but in light of the female presence we were inspired to show off and so climbed all over and then under a bridge (have some cool photos from this Ill post as soon as I nick them off Dan) and then climbed some trees and Mim and Stu did some flips (or tried to anyway, the stacks were far more impressive than the successful ones!!)
Train home was fine until I reached Bicester, which is only 15mins from home, and the train sat at the station for half and hour and then took an hour, I kid you not, to go from Bicester to Haddenham!! (point of interest: Bicester is prounounced bis-ter as opposed to bi-cest-er) Because of the delay I missed my lift out to the 70s nite and spent a bored nite at home. (had also managed to miss-read my ticket and so was under the impression my train got in at 7:40, sitting in Birmingham at 7:15 it occurred to me that there was about a snowballs chance in hell of me getting to Haddenham in 25mins and looked at my ticket to find it actually said 8:40)
Two more days til the weekend, which looks about as restful as the last!!

Weekend Away

2007-03-01T23:53:00.000Z

Well, kind of. I have drop in tomorow nite until ten and then I drive up to Telford (or close by, not sure really, 2 or 3 hours anyway) once there I will probably prepare the unit I have to teach on saturday as I doubt I'll get time to do it tomorow, then I get a few hours sleep before doing foundations all day and catching a train back to haddenham. Get in at 7:40 and head straight for the 70's nite where I said I'd help out before I realised how busy this weekend was gonna be. Church Sunday, teching Sunday School, was supposed to call Mark and work out what we're teaching them like three days ago... whoops.
So a restful weekend in store *cough* "sleep is for the dead"

Weekend

2007-02-25T20:45:00.001Z

The weekend supposedly is for resting, but I seem to sleep less then than ever. Friday nite was drop in, good fun this week, I had a twelve year old size me up for a fight (and think better of it) and his big brother decide that playing football with little kids meant he could push, shove and kick everyone out of his way, I took him aside and offered him a choice about playing with little kids and looking out for others (as opposed to bashing into them) or not playing. After a few stubborn attempts to argue that "football is football" and that he could bash into people if he wanted he chose not to play. Got home from drop in and fell asleep watching Jarhead, stupid movie that makes a stupid point but does it very well. The point being that the soldiers sat around waiting for something to happen... and nothing ever did. This point is made by keeping you sitting there thinking surely something must happen... and it never does.
Saturday I edited my MySpace page, it now looks well cool, check it out (links in the side bar) and then went to Matts to watch the rugby. I wisely decided to use the tenuous link of an Irish grandparent to cheer for Ireland, who trounced England in magnificent style at Crode Park. Brian O'driscoll is a legend. Stayed at Matts as his place is a good deal closer to church than mine. I found it in the morning that he'd left the window open all nite, which explained why I'd frozen into an icicle!!
Church was great this morning, which is one of the really impressive bits about my church, family service is really good (unlike the generally intolerably infantile family services of many chuches) and involved the youth sharing about the gathering two weeks back. After I had a couple of good chats and it looks like we'll be doing an all nite prayer thing (with loads of different things for fun in there) at Easter, should be fun.
Close examination of the side bar will reveal some new additions. Lyndsey (blog squad) is a friend from Soul Survivor who's taking a gap year and travelling around africa and various other cool places, probably including Australia. Captain Justice has returned to the Motherland from his adventures in Tasmania and has begun his blog anew to mark the move. And Brecklines is Andys (the Bish) website, which I shouldn't really put under Blog Squad as its a web page in its own right... but I'll stick him there coz in reality its just a glorified blog owned by a legenadary snow boarding computer geek who uses yellow times new roman font, say no more.
The weekend (probly the week as well to be honest, but particularly noticable in the last couple of days) has been massively up and down. Stupidly soaringly high and awesome, or crashing down to earth with a sickening thud depression and gloom. Went flying this morning, crashed this arvo. Seriously unfunny. Waiting for my wings back.

Could have been worse...

2007-02-21T17:25:00.000Z

I called Mum this morning to wish her happy birthday. Jordan answered my skype and went and fetched Mum for me. "Happy Birthday!!" silence on the other end... "Mum?" "Yes" "Happy Birthday!!" silence... "Are you drunk?"
And it hit me. Mums birthday would be March 8th. Today would be February 21st. Not her birthday. And then the explanation dawned on me, Mum had left a comment on the blog about her birthday, shortly after this Rob had mentioned that Barbara's birthday was Wednesday, and somehow the two pieces of information had melded together in my mind so much so that I had actually informed Barbara that she shared her birthday with my mother (I must go and un-inform her of this) and written in my PDA* that it was both of their birthdays (that really should have given the game away as it required me to find the date)
My only defence is that I got very little sleep last nite (and it was not my fault) after a very full day. Anyway, like I said, it could have been worse, Dad forgot Mums birthday last year, fortunately he remembered to blog about forgetting it and gave me the heads up to give her a ring and cash in on the free brownie points for remembering (something I have just destroyed as Mum is one of my 3 readers- thats right, numbers are on the up!! -but its a great story so it had to be done)
Mum also mentioned she had some Christmas presents she hadnt sent me. I'll expect them inside 2 weeks thanks.
In other news, I've forgotten what I was going to say there... o rite, I remember!! I am becoming a Solataire Grand Master thanks to my PDA, altho I'm not sure i should be proud of this. Anyhow, Im outta here, see you on the dark side!!
*(Personal Digital Assistant, Mum)

300

2007-02-18T17:55:00.000Z

I saw Hot Fuzz at the cinema yesterday, fantastic movie from the crew from Shaun of the Dead. Loved it!! A trailer for 300 caught my eye, (giant screen everyone is watching tends to do that), its loosely based on the story of the Battle of Thermopylae where 300 Spartans (and 700 Thespians) held a small pass against a huge number of Persians, selling their lives unbelievably dearly to allow the Greek army time to retreat and for Athens to muster for the naval battle that won them the war. Now, I say loosely and I mean it. The movie is based on the graphic novel (comic!!) which is based on the story, so it will probably leave historians spinning but graphically it looks incredible and definitely will be one for the boys (my sister saw the trailer and hated it so I'm assuming that will be the general female response) Comes out March 9

Express

2007-02-16T18:37:00.000Z

What's the dumbest thing You've done this week?
This morning I saw the train coming as I arrived at the station, I legged it and managed to get a ticket and be on the platform in time to jump on the train and avoid a 40 min wait for the next one. Pleased with myself I sat down and pulled out a book. 2 mins later the driver announced that this was the express train for London Marylebone. Stopping: London Marylebone. Period. Yeah, I laughed and all.
2 hours later after an unexpected ride into London and back out again I finally got to work and started dismantling furniture for the big move from the old office to the new shop (which is looking well good with the carpet down now and us starting to set up) From there I grabbed a video at blockbusters and headed home to set up for the impromptu movie nite I had organised for the church youth in light of drop in not being on over half term. I managed to have a shower, talk on MSN, cook dinner, deal with infernal smoke alarm (nothing to do with dinner I swear) and rearrange the house all more or less at the same time, who says men cant multi-task?!? (next step: multi-task without burning dinner)
Watched Zoolander, an "old" classic that was pulled out as most of the crowd hadnt seen it and so had to be educated. It was a bit shorter than I remember it being so the older lot stood in the kitchen and talked while the young crew trashed the house or something, I dont know, I havent checked the damage yet... The kitchen convo was extremely entertaining, the highlight of our banter was someone asking what they could "come down with" to get out of work tomorow, the instant brilliant response was "syphilous"
In other news, a drunk Aussie has jumped in the sea and wrestled a four foot bronze whaler shark onto the jetty in a stroke of genius (or stupidity, depending on how you look at it) Full Story Here

The David Pountney Letters

2007-02-15T16:59:00.000Z

The fourth David Pountney Letter is the last of his recorded correspondance to date, although there are rumours of a fifth letter (including a David Pountney photo shoot) that will be coming out soon. The fourth letter is possibly my favourite, if of course, one was actually able to distinguish which piece of David Pountney genius us greater than any other piece. Read on to make your own conclusion on the matter...

The Fouth David Pountney Letter

To My Most Wonderfully, Georgeously, Lovely Ladies,

I am well!
I am sure that you will be very pleased to know that I recently returned
from my groundbreaking world tour that i embarked upon with my young
secretary. No doubt you will wish to know how it went.

However, first i must express my deep disappointment with some of you:
firstly, there are hard-core members who have still failed to fill in their
registration forms, and secondly, some of you rejected the
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join me on tour. In this respect, I am
indeed grieviously upset. (Any apologies or filled in forms should be
directed towards me at once). I must also note that some of you did
extremely well in returning your forms efficiently and honestly, for this i
congratulate the esteemed Miss Heather Batting and Miss Megan Tipping.

On tour, there was some success to be had. The moment i got off my private
coach at leicester bus station, there were throngs of crowds awaiting me.
Having signed a few autographs, we handed out registration forms to everyone
present. While they were contemplating these and filling them in, we made a
quick getaway to Megan Tipping's room, where we had approximately 3.5
seconds of time to ourselves, before we heard the knocking on the door - no
surprises, just young ladies wanting a piece of the action. We collected in
the forms and sent them away; naturally, they were obedient to my wishes.

GOOD NEWS!!!! Over the course of the weekend, we obtained 345,456,987 new
forms. Once the vetting process for appropriate, attractive young christian
singles was complete, this number has been reduced to a mere 234,756. These
are, of course, mere wannabes: the favourites have been narrowed down to
those of you lucky enough to receive this email. Feel the love!!!!!!!

Now, you are probably asking why quite so many people are attracted to me,
try to have optical intercourse with me and make eye babies with me, and
want to be part of my club. To assist you in answering your questions, i
have written up a list of facts that you may not have yet come across in
"The David Pountney Handbook: Everything you ever wanted to know about the
real me" (available in all good bookstores for about $300).

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it
notes that all world records are held by me, and those listed in the book
are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

I once shot down a German fighter plane with my finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Contrary to popular belief, Great Britain is not a democracy, it is a
Pountatorship.

When I fall in water, I don't get wet. Water gets David Pountney.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is
roughly equal to 1DPRhK (David Pountney Roundhouse Kick)

My tears cure cancer. Too bad I have never cried. Ever.

Why is six afraid of seven? Cos David Pountney

I do not hunt for ladies as that implies the possibility of failure. I
capture ladies.

When I do a pushup, I’m not lifting myself up, I’m pushing the Earth down.

I am so fast, I can run around the world and punch myself in the back of the
head.

My hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

I can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

I do not get frostbite. I bite frost.

My house has no doors, only walls that I walk through.

I CAN believe it's not butter.

I can divide by zero.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A David Pountney is worth 1 billion
words.

I ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Little known medical fact: I invented the Caesarean section when I
roundhouse-kicked my way out of my mother's womb.

I once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made me blink.

Thousands of years ago I came across a bear. It was so terrified that it
fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its
descendents now have white hair.

I can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears David Pountney pajamas.

I did in fact, build Rome in a day.

'Icy-Hot' is too weak for me. After a workout, I rub my muscles down with
liquid-hot MAGMA.

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured me instead of Frodo
Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as I roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass
halfway through the first chapter.

Ladies: how priveledged you are to know me, eh?! How would you survive
without my love and guidance!!!!

LOVE YOU LADIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Pountenator!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. Don't miss out on free pountney points tomorrow; available to anyone
standing outside his house at six o'clock tomorrow morning. Also, don't
forget to trade in your Pountney Point Coupons, found on page 5674 of the
Pountney Handbook (this is in the Chapter entitled "Have you seen my body
lately?!")

The David Pountney Letters

2007-02-13T22:48:00.000Z

The Third of the David Pountney Letters came with a P.S. which I have chosen not to include in this publication as it was a personal address to a comment by one of his fans. Suffice to say that the Great Man showed incredible humility and integrity in gently reminding them that God is the true hero and that idolising a mere human, even one so great as the Pountenator, is not good. The letter also includes a registration form and Code of Conduct, anyone wishing to join can copy the letter and send it on to me (the Great Mans personal Body Guard, more of an honourary post as I am more protecting people from crossing David Pountney than I am protecting David Pountney from anything) and I will ensure that it is passed on to Davids Secretary.
[The third letter and the code of conduct contain various "in" phrases and terms that were being discussed and debated amongst the fan club at the time it was written. Some of the requirements were borrowed from bible colleges in America and whilst these are extreme and absurd to expect anyone to follow with normal people, however, David Pountney is no ordinary man, and so the David Pountney Staff (see the facebook group for membership list) deemed these requirements appropriate for the followers of this exceptional man]

The third of the David Pountney Letters

To those lovely ladies who have the pleasure of being part of my fan club,

I bid thee goodday!

It has come to the attention of my staff, that the number of fans in my club is becoming nearly uncontrollable. I therefore feel it would be beneficial to all of us if I was able to have a database containing information about each of you. Thus, I am asking if it would be possible for each of you to fill in the attached registration form and return it to my secretary as soon as you can. Rewards will be given out as I see fit.

LOVE YOU LOVELY LADIES!!!!

The Pountenator!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Form:

Name:
Age: (very important!)
Address:
Occupation:
Date you met me (I expect you to know this – life was not worth living before this wonderful day):
My first words to you:
My most attractive feature:
Favourite fantasy involving David Pountney:
Anything else you want to say about me:

I, the undersigned, agree to bide by the Pountney Fan Club code of conduct.
(Please read before signing)

Name (please print)……………………….…………..Date:…………………..

Signed:…………………………….

Pountney Fan Club Code of Conduct

o I will not make “eye babies” with any other member of the male species except David Pountney
o I will not have “optical intercourse” with any other member of the male species except David Pountney
o I will not talk to any other member of the male species except with the express permission of David Pountney
o Furthermore, I will not even look at another member of the male species without the express permission of David Pountney
o I will only speak to David Pountney when invited to do so
o I will address David Pountney as “Sir” or “Mr Pountney”. I understand that calling him “Pountney”, “Pounters”, “Pouters”, “Poultney”, “Poultry”, “David”, “Davey”, “Dave”, “Thunderbird”, “Fit-boy”, “Fittie”, “Hot Dave”, “Muscles”, or any other such abomination is completely unacceptable, and that calling him “The Pountenator” should be reserved for some certain appropriate moments only.
o I will dress appropriately in the presence of the great man (I understand that this generally means a nice top and long skirt in summer, and a nice top and trousers in winter)
o I will hug David Pountney at any available opportunity
o I will spread the word of the greatness of David Pountney
o I will trust him with my life, even at risk of being dropped
o I will dream about no man other than David Pountney
o I will carry around with me photos of David Pountney and only David Pountney
o My bedroom will be adorned with photos of nobody except David Pountney: there will not be any wallpaper or paint showing as the walls will be totally covered with the great man. An alternative is to invest in the official “David Pountney Wallpaper”
o When I greet David Pountney, I will firstly scream his name for three minutes at the top of my voice to show my loyalty, I will then curtsey and politely ask him how he is. If he replies affirmatively, I will step to the side and let him continue to his other fans. If there seems to be a problem, I will instantly tell him how wonderful he is for a period of no less than thirteen minutes, without even pausing for breath.
o I will wear my official “David Pountney Fan Club” badge at all times, even when showering or sleeping. I would far rather be injured in my sleep than to compromise my loyalty to such a stunning man
o I will not marry until David Pountney has married, as otherwise this implies that there is someone I would rather marry
o If it turns out that I am not the lucky woman who marries David Pountney, I shall enter a mourning period which will last approximately twelve years
o I will do whatever he says, whether I agree with him or not. Period.

LOVE YOU LADIES!!!!!!!!!!!

The Pountenator!!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. Next edition "Pountney on Tour" will be coming out soon!

The David Pountney Letters

2007-02-12T11:32:00.000Z

I should explain quickly that David Pountney, the legend that is, was but a humble legend until his recent rise to fame after 3 girls formed the initially named Pountney Appreciation Society, this continued to grow until it was clear that the mass of screaming female fans could no longer be accurately referred to as a "society" and so were renamed the "Pountney Fan Club". Prior to the exponential growth of his fans the Great Man wrote these letters to his most loyal followers.
This is the second of the David Pountney Letters

To My Most Dearest Ladies, I bid you goodday,

As my most loyal fans, i feel it is necessary to share with you some facts about myself that are unknown to many other people. I do expect you to acquaint yourself with these facts over the next few days, as there will be a test on them next saturday, to determine who will be the lucky winner of the "Pountney Fan of the Week award" this week. The winner will also get a bonus "Free Dance with the Man Of Steel" himself at Heather's party. Best of Luck!!!

These facts come with a health warning: I am well aware that many aspects of my personality are so breath-takingly incredible and almost unbelievable, that you may die of shock while reading them. Please do not, or I shall have to find new members for my fan club. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Here they are:

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is me.

I do not read books. I stare them down until I get the information I want.

Children all over the world check their closets for the boogie-man before heading to bed. The boogie-man checks his closet for me.

I do not breathe. Air hides in my lungs for protection.

My calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools me.

I have counted to infinity - twice.

I can speak braille.

I do not sleep. I wait.

I sleep with a night light. Not because I am afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of me.

My dog is trained to pick up his own poop because I will not take crap from anyone.

When I look in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between David Pountney and David Pountney.

I once had a heart attack; my heart lost.

I don't use pickup lines, I simply say, "Now."

I can build a snowman out of rain.

I was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. I declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."

I can drown a fish.

I play russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and win.

The chief export of David Pountney is love.

The only time I was wrong was when I thought I had made a mistake.

I have only one hand: the upper hand.

Bullets dodge David Pountney.

Simon says exactly what I tell him to say. Period.

Well, there you are. All those hidden facts that you may otherwise never have known about me...

Dearest ladies, I hope that your revision sessions prove successful, as you can see these are some very important attributes of my character...

LOVE YOU LADIES!!!! you really are the most incredibly awesome and, dare I say it, attractive, fans I could ever have wished for!

Yours,
The Pountenator!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Saints Are Coming

2007-02-11T18:39:00.000Z

Spent the Weekend at the Gathering in Birmingham. Got all of about 40mins sleep over the two nites and as our accomodation was without shower facilities I came home smelling fresh and looking well rested *cough* (3 of us fell asleep in the live album recording at the conference and got more sleep there than we had the previous nite, which gives you some idea of the rowdiness of the boys followed up by the "chain-saw wielding grizzly bear snorer" who incidently was wearing superman pyjamas)
It was a good weekend tho, most of the leaders nicked off Saturday afternoon to grab a pub lunch and watch England take Italy in the rugby and got inspired to start a game of sleeping bag rugby back at the church hall we were sleeping in that nite. The mental game that followed saw my pillow used as the ball and a bunch of lads go hard at it for a good half an hour before someone innevitably got hurt and we decided to stop. Typically, I was responsible for the hurt (fortunatley this hurt was more about someone being a wuss than any actual injury, my elbow on the other hand will be making its way to the doctors for an x-ray on the chip from December that I managed to bash on the ground as I took one lad out) This BIG lad on the other team, who fortunately had no idea how to play rugby whatsoever, had the "ball" and I was pushing him back towards his own line with it but he wouldnt fall over and so I ducked low and launched up lifting him off the ground and then dump tackling him to the cheers of my team. "That's an Australian tackle!!" was the cry from Pete (resident rugby guru) before we realised he was hurt. Now I suspect that the fella was just winded but we took it as a good break in the game to end on and cut it out before anyone actually got hurt.
Some other hilarity from the trip involved our complete lack of ability to form a working convoy of cars, innevitably we got seperated and then lost despite having 2 sat navs!! Tim launched into a beautiful rant at the lads on the first nite after about an hour of chaos post lights out, which ended with "you're embarrassing yourself and your church!!" which silenced the whole room except for Matt, Pete, and I trying to contain our laughter with little success for about ten mins. (I should mention our group were amazingly well behaved and the model of respect and sense, seriously proud of them) Matts rant the following nite worked well until he ended on the line "Im not angry, Im just dissapointed" which completely destroyed the effect of the rant as everyone cracked up laughing again. And lastly, my genius was well employed when I got the tech guys to put a message on the screens asking Tim to go to First Aid (something he'd been dreading happening since we got there) He came back very confused until he saw the rest of us smirking and ticked to what was going on!!
*the Gathering is a youth event run by the Elim network of Churches

A great touch to the waiting times in the hall were some of the songs and ensuing fun that were played by the good natured techies for our entertainment. There was a giant Conga line to Sweet Marie Who Waits For Me and just general dancing and enjoyment to The Saints Are Coming by U2 and Greenday. This song was so good I googled it as soon as I got home and found this clip on YouTube. Enjoy!!

The David Pountney Letters

2007-02-09T01:03:00.000Z

The David Pountney letters are a series of letters from David Pountney, the great man, to all his fans (largely of the female variety). I felt that both the readers of this blog should be included in the genius entertainment provided by the great man himself (due credit to his personal secretary for his assistance in this process)

The first of the David Pountney Letters

To My Most Lovely Ladies,

I would like to let you know that I had a good day. Here is how it went:
7:30 I woke up with a smile
7.35 I arised and powered out some press ups (my pecs are coming on, I'm
telling you)
7.40 Breakfast Time! (Good ol' shreddies, keep the heart pumping away)
8.00 Did my teeth
8.05 Chauffeur (Criscab) took his royalty to school.
8.30 Guard of honour (a.k.a screaming girls) welcome me to school
*lots of other stuff happens*
4.00 Come home from school after a long day with the paparazzi, particular
watching me playing house football with the vest on!
4.30 Went to gym. More chest work. (These pecs are really coming on, I'm
telling you)
6.00 BIG DINNER
7.30 Ian comes round. Mischief begins!!! Plenty of awesome dance moves are
learned for Heather's party. DO NOT MISS OUT.
7.45 Transcribe email for Ian (secretary) to write to Fan Club.

LOVE YOU LADIES!!! Keep up the support - rewards for most loyal fan will be
handed out each week!!!

The Pountenator!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. Look forward to tomorrow morning's edition - "The Pountenator takes a
shower!!!"

Snow Day!!!

2007-02-08T15:14:00.000Z

Woke up to this

So thought I'd go do this

Would quite like one of these

You'd cain everyone in a snow fight with that thing!! I love the snow!!

Vertigo

2007-02-03T16:35:00.000Z

Am heading into Oxford for Vertigo* tonite. Hopefully while Im there I will collect my camera off Danbo who has restored it to working order after a six month break from functioning. He says the batteries were dodgy, I can't work this out coz that was the first thing I changed!! Anyhow, Im looking forward to getting it back and pulling it out occasionally to take some pics for the blog.
At the moment Im sitting watching Scotland play England in the Six Nations and listening to Placebo. England are up by 2 points thanks to Wilkinsons annoying kicking, I'd love to see someone actually score a try tho rather than just get halfway up the field and then kicking at goal. Scottsh bloke just made a brilliant dive through the legs of the English fella trying to tackle him, and we have Englands first try in 6 years and Wilkinson, probably utterly stunned, has missed his conversion kick at goal for the first time in that period as well!! (due credit to him but he does look like a punce when he's lining up a kick). I think England have won the rugby now, shame, I was going to wear my kilt to Vertigo if Scotland won.
Started doing 2 days a week youth work for my church this week (in addition to my diploma) and am loving it. So far I've spent more time decorating the new shop than doing youth work but it's good fun none the less and I'm looking forward to the next few months with them.
Have loads to do at the moment, actually didn't see James or Alice in the last 2 weeks, blogging will probly be sporadic at best (no change from usual then) but there will probly be lots more to blog about when I do get the chance.
*Vertigo is a Youth Event run by all the churches in Oxford once a term, loads of fun!!

Babysitting

2007-01-30T21:50:00.000Z

I've not long managed to get the kids to bed, they're not too difficult, at least not compared to the bloody horses I had to feed this afternoon, I swear I'm gonna shoot one of those bloody things, they're about the size of a truck and they know I'm scared of them which means they play up a treat every time I'm by myself!! This morning one of them was going skitz and I couldn't even get it's halter on to take it out to the field, I ended up opening the field gate and the stable door and then hiding while it found its own way back.

Thought my Grampa's nomination in the Bloggies Awards mite be worth a mention. As it happens, I am a third generation blogger, both my Dad and my Grampa both have blogs, the most prestigious of which, it turns out, is Grampas. Check out the awards here and drop him a vote or three (you can vote once for every email address you have ;) His blog is called Holties House and is nominated under "Best Australian or New Zealand Weblog"

The Wish List

2007-01-26T13:50:00.000Z

I have been thinking about putting together a kind of wish list of things that I really want to do for a while now, some examples of things that make the list are: not to shave or cut my hair for and entire year, live in europe and queensland, drive a combie van across the nullabor with a bunch of friends, and all sorts of other crazy stuff. I will post it in the sidebar at some point. Anyhow, the reason I mention this is that I found something that goes straight to the top of the list this morning.

I want to do it SOOOO much!! Looks like the biggest rush ever!!
*High Thanks to Youthblog for the discovery.

First Snow

2007-01-24T23:35:00.000Z

I woke this morning to find the farm at Lacey Green blanketed in snow. Not having seen snow before this was a cause for excitement and I ran outside for a quick snowball war with the side of the house and the car (no one else was around to play... I won tho!!) Turns out half the country saw snow last nite but Lacey Green got the best fall of the towns I saw today. Now the reason I was in Lacey Green rather than the Manor in Haddenham is that I'm filling in here and there as a nanny for the Bish'es boss while he's away snow boarding (for three months, the lucky bugger) and stayed over last nite in my "little" house, which shall have to be named shortly (and is actually about twice the size of Dan and Danni's house) after looking after the kids. As a bonus of this job, Andys "ship" Tulula's Revenge sails under my flag for the next few weeks.
Am hoping it will snow again tomorow and I can make an igloo, didn't have time for a proper play this morning and I will definitely go for a snow fight even if I have to sneak into one of the local schools to start it!!

New Look

2007-01-21T21:12:00.000Z

I cut the dreads off yesterday after a year and a half of the rasta look. James did the honours, and I have to say its miraculously come out really good. Miraculous because literally all thats been done is James hacked them off and then Polly combed out the knots and wax and then I washed it!! By rights it should look rubbish, but somehow I'm pulling it off. There's some debate about whether I look older or younger or both at the same time. Heath is saying older, I am saying younger (coz I have a photo of me at 16 that looks almost the same) and Ian says I look like an Oxford uni student in my Oxford t-shirt, which I'm taking as a definite compliment. On the other hand, Lucy has managed to destroy me in two sentences better than anyone else on the face of the planet has in the last 19 years!! The two direct quotes over dinner last nite were "you know, it makes you look more feminine" followed up with "but in a really good way, you look pretty" Now, as a bloke, that's fairly crushing, and by fairly I mean totally and utterly.

Yeah... I did the vain thing of taking a million photos of myself trying to see if I liked it and get a good shot out of my annoyingly un-photogenic face =]

Wikipedia

2007-01-19T16:13:00.000Z

I've recently begun to make use of a great resource called Wikidpedia, an incredible online encyclopedia. But when I went to log in today I couldn't get online and so pressed "reset my password" and went to check my email for the new one. I had no new emails and couldn't work out what was going on for a minute until I had a brainwave. Going back to Wikidpedia I tried a different username and got straight on. Meaning I just reset someone elses password!! Whoever the poor guy is will have a moment or two of confusion next time he goes to log in.
Busy week this one in the Posse House. And yet little of it is worth posting on the net. The most noteworthy event was watching Children of Men last nite. It has Clive Owen in it (always a good start) and Michael Caine (getting better all the time) and is set some 25 years in the future where the human race is facing extinction because there are no more children being born, the youngest person in the world being 18 years old. The film manages to be incredibly realistic in its style and characters while telling an incredible story that would seem impossible, man on the edge of extinction within a generation. One interesting aspect is that the larger details of the story are never more than vaguely explained, you have to gather a lot as you go along and guess at a lot more, filling in the gaps as you go. Maybe I was just in tune last nite but this seemed easy and made the movie if anything more enjoyable as I grappled with the plot to understand what was happening. I liked it anyway.

Have a Break...

2007-01-16T17:37:00.000Z

...have a Kitkat

Dinner for One

2007-01-11T22:06:00.000Z

This is a great sketch that apparently is a great German tradition to watch on Sylvester (new years eve). Now, I've seen a video of the German new years for the new millenium where they burned a giant wooden, ummm, artwork I guess you'd call it, and just sat there watching it burn... I totally didn't get it. Apparently it didn't symbolise anything, just for the sake of it. My dad and sister both got it and said "you either get it or you don't" which didn't really help me "get it". So, having one example of German tradition that seems just totally bizarre, this rates well down the other end as a quality waste of time. If you have ten minutes enjoy the sketch!!

2 days down, 3 to go

2007-01-09T22:09:00.000Z

Two days are done for the week and I feel like it should be the weekend again!! Maybe it's just the return to work after the (unexpectedly extended) Christmas break, or maybe... probably... definitely... the last two days have been particularly full on and emotionally draining. A combination of good friends going back to uni, no sleep Saturday nite, missing church (which happened to be most of the uni friends last service for the break) due to no sleep on Saturday nite and then making the mistake of sitting down at about 8am for a moment to be woken 2 hours later by James using his bloody bubble machine that he got for Christmas to blow bubbles in my face so that he could tell me that Ian was there to take me to church... I must have decided at that point that I wasn't going to church, I dont really remember much beyond the bubbles to be honest, and spent the rest of the day feeling crap about the choice and sleeping in and not getting to say goodbye to people. Monday I spent most of the day trying to work out a job description for the next six months with Mim and that seemed to bring up more and more and more issues and things that needed to be worked through than anything else and spent a lot of time working through that emerging from the whole process without a job description and a lot of questions. Last nite was cell group, which lived up to its regular quality, but ended in another drain as we said goodbye to Megs as she heads back to uni. Today I attempted to answer some of the questions from yesterday and am now coming up with two proposals for job descriptions, one to be worked through tomorow morning, the other on Thursday morning. Hopefully by that stage I will be able to crawl up in a little ball and there will be no more questions and emotional drain to prevent me from peaceful, blissful, sleep. Unfortunately Friday is not accounted for in all of this and I have no idea what it may hold.
Home sickness appears to be rearing its head once more to take advantage of my drained state and it's difficult not to feel a bit depressed when you're drained and when it gets dark before you leave work giving the impression of a constant, oppressive, wet, nite time. Tis ok, just need to hold on, if I make it to the weekend it will all be good, just gotta get through this week.

New Years Resolutions

2007-01-05T15:55:00.000Z

Some resolutions for the year:
I will finish my assignments
I will read the books I borrow from the church library
I will run one day trip in where I do not need to majorly restructure the timetable on the run, do not lose or damage any of the borrowed resources, we finish on time and we do not upset anyone from the local parish (particularly the vicar)
I will write a proper budget
I will stick to said budget
Said budget will include a savings plan
I will call home once a week
I will stop getting home after everyone else has gone to bed
I will start playing sport again
I will make use of my diary for more than just recording the things I should have done
I will maintain good relationship with the vicar

These were the resolutions I liked from YouthBlog:
I will put aside time to pray for the young people
I will stop eating all the tuck while setting up for youth cafe
I will build in some professional development this year
Time with God will become a priority and a neccessity
I will invest in relationships with parents and members of the congregation
I will make a point of meeting up with a less experienced youth minister
I will make a point of meeting up with a more experienced youth minister
I will not skateboard in Church when anybody else is around

I had best point out at this point that most of these are made in jest, so that when I fail dismally I do not become depressed. It's also 6:30am, and it's a widely known fact that the only way I see a clock at that time of day is if I had no sleep the nite before, so Im not sure if any of the above resolutions even make sense and, truthfully, there's not much point in checking. I'll have a look in a day or three when my brain decides to function again. Until then...

Welcome to the New Year

2007-01-02T09:58:00.000Z

Im sitting in the office at one minute to ten, almost half awake, and liking that I am the first to arrive for the first day back at work. (Me being the first to arrive for anything doesn't happen v often so it's something to savour when it does) Conversely there is the possibility that everyone else has decided not to start work again today and no one has bothered to tell me, which would be slightly less good than the present situation.
New Years Eve was awesome, definitely beat last years nite out in London. It was followed up yesterday with breakfast at 12 (huge feast of bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, toast and tea) and a movie, 8 Days a Week, which was reasonably entertaining but ended with the whole point being that our purpose on earth is to exist between the moments of joy when we have sex. Not the deepest message ever.
I now have a week (or part of the week anyway) to recover sufficiently to attempt to equal Danbos (Atari Man) feat of four days without sleep next weekend. Starting Friday I will try to go without sleep until Monday nite (will probably settle for mid-afternoon Monday to be honest) Ian was listing the reasons the idea is idiocy last nite but most of them merely encouraged me!!
The era of the dreads is drawing to a close. I finally set a date to cut them off. Saturday 13th January. This decision was confirmed in its wisdom on New Years Eve when Andy half yanked a dread out of my skull during a wrestling match (I say wrestle, it was more a case of Andy plonking his considerable weight on top of my sleeping form and proceeding to beat the stuffing out of it, my nipples are still sore!!)
Thats all for the first post of the New Year thinks I. Some resolutions may follow in the next couple of days drawing on YouthBlog for inspiration. Until then...

New Years Eve

2006-12-31T00:22:00.000Z

It's just turned New Years Eve on my clock, last day of the year!! May have to do something to mark the occasion... Went up to Bicester Village to try and get some shoes today, came back drenched and annoyed at the lack of quality in shoes, Im going to Oxford next week instead, I did find an awesome Fat Face outlet tho and got £105 worth of gear for under 40 quid!! (Also picked up a nifty knife/screw driver/pliers/and loads of other things gadget from Tog24 v cheap as well) But no shoes...
Down loaded the photos I took in London the other day. Just spent 20mins trying to upload them to blogger with no joy. Ill try again later... Photos now appear to be working =]

I never really went in for new years resolutions, they seem to be very short term ideals but I like the idea of developing healthy habits and working on personal growth and have been working on something vaguely similar from the book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey (who is a man of remarkable genius considering he belongs to the Church of Moron or whatever its called) ANYWAY, what I was leading to had absolutely nothing to do with any of that, but is a cartoon by Leunig which I quite like: